Hold (Gentry Boys #5) Read online

  We wanted things to work out for those two kids, wanted them to shake off whatever demons led them to do dumb shit like steal cars, fuck around, blow off school.

  We hoped they’d step back from the ledge that straddled the good world and the bad.

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHASE

  There wasn’t much conversation on the drive home. We were relaxed, just enjoying the comfort of each other’s company. When we reached the east valley I asked if there was any interest in going for a cup of coffee but Cord yawned and said he’d already texted Saylor that she could expect him home within half an hour.

  “What about you, monster?” I asked Creed, flicking him in the back of the neck.

  “I’m beat,” he answered. “Got shows the next three nights so I should probably turn in early tonight.”

  I flopped back into the seat and looked out the window, thinking how strange was the march of time, that the archetypal party boys of yesterday were now in for the night by ten o’clock.

  Not that I was complaining. In fact my brain offered up an appealing flashback from last night; Steph naked and on her knees. I hoped she was still awake.

  We passed right by Cord’s neighborhood on the way back to Scratch. I was tempted to ask if we could stop at his house for a minute. Even though my nieces were surely asleep at this hour I never passed up the opportunity to look at their precious faces. The sight of them always stirred something soft yet protective in me. I imagined the feeling was probably ten times more intense for their father.

  But there was really no good reason to disrupt their whole household so I just waved goodbye to Cord as he hopped out of Creed’s truck and into his own, taking off almost immediately. My car was parked where I’d left it a few dozen yards away from the door of Scratch but I lingered in Creed’s truck for another moment as we watched Cord’s taillights disappear.

  “You did good today,” announced Creed suddenly.

  Compliments from Creedence didn’t come easily so I raised an eyebrow and waited.

  “With the kids,” he explained. “I mean I’ve always thought you would make an amazing teacher but today when I saw how you were able to get through to those boys I knew it was true.”

  “Yeah, well,” was all I said because I really couldn’t describe how much those words pleased me.

  Creed put his elbow up on the window frame and exhaled thickly. I knew he was going to switch topics to one I wouldn’t like as much.

  “Pretty relieved we didn’t run into any ghosts tonight,” he finally said.

  A shiver rolled through me, a primitive instinct triggered by the memory of something bad. Yeah, I was also damn glad that tonight there’d been no sign of our parents. Most likely they were holed up several miles deep into the desert, in the filthy shithole we’d been raised in, a place I had no desire to inhabit again.

  “No ghosts,” I said, feeling strangely troubled. Violence. Addiction. Despair. Abuse. Those were all the things that were wrapped together in my earliest home and the people who created it. If not for Creedence and Cordero I didn’t know if I’d still be alive.

  “Why don’t we meet up for lunch, maybe next weekend?” Creed suggested as I opened the door. “We’ll drag Cord out of Scratch for an hour or two, bring our ladies. I know they miss each other.”

  As proof that our lives had always been hopelessly interconnected, it was a fact that Truly and Stephanie were roommates before we’d met either of them. Creed got together with Truly first and I’d already happened to take an interest in Steph when I’d seen her skulking sexily around campus. All of that seemed like it had just happened yesterday yet it also seemed like it had always been true.

  “It’s a date,” I yawned. I wasn’t tired though, not really. I wanted to get back to my apartment and press my head against Stephanie’s bare breasts in ways that were both naughty and nice.

  Creed drove away and I jogged back to my car for the short drive back home. As soon as I parked in front of my building I heard music blaring. That wasn’t unusual, considering this area was almost exclusively populated with college students who did things like blast music and vomit in the pool.

  As I drew closer to my door though I was startled to realized that the noise was coming from my place. Of course Steph would have been home hours ago but it wasn’t really her style to blast nineties grunge music into the atmosphere if she was just sitting in there by herself.

  “You’re hanging out with your brothers tomorrow night, right?”

  No.

  Absurd thought.

  Unworthy.

  Steph had never given me a single reason to doubt that she was faithful to me. It was a disgraceful thing to even cross my mind.

  Still, as I pushed the key into the lock I sensed that something was off. Something that could alter the comfortable order of my personal universe.

  “Hey you,” I said, happy to find Stephanie sitting on the couch and wearing a white t-shirt that wasn’t quite long enough to cover her pink lace panties. It didn’t seem like an invitation though. She looked at me strangely, like I was the last person she expected to see.

  I motioned that I was going to turn down the volume on the old stereo that was wedged in the corner entertainment unit. She nodded.

  “Didn’t know you’d be waiting on me,” I said as I sat down and touched her knee. “Turned out to be a crazy night. We ended up driving down to Emblem to bail out a couple of long lost cousins.” I started giving out details but after a few sentences I realized she wasn’t listening at all.

  She sat there staring at my hand on her knee. I noticed she had something clutched in her right fist.

  “What’s that?”

  Steph opened her palm and stared at the ball of paper inside. “Nothing. LSAT test results.”

  “The law school entrance exam?”

  “That’s the one.”

  I leaned back into the couch and processed the news. “When did that happen? I didn’t know you’d taken the test.”

  She sighed and pressed her knees together. “Yup. I do that. I take tests.”

  “Well?” I prodded. “How’d you do?”

  She smiled at me. “I did awesome.”

  I clapped my hands together. “Babe, that’s great. So is this happening? You going to law school?”

  She lost her smile. “No.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not going.”

  “Steph, you’re gonna have to help me out here. What do you mean?”

  “I mean I need a job more than I need three more years of school to fulfill a fanciful childhood idea.”

  “Honey,” I soothed, pulling her close to my chest. “Let’s talk about this. I’ll be teaching full time and even though it’s not a luxury salary it’s better than what I’ve been making. We can figure out how to make this happen for you.” She tilted her face toward me and I kissed her soft lips.

  “Chase,” she said, pulling away a little.

  “Shhh.” I hauled her into my lap, letting my hand creep under her shirt and explore her smooth skin. “Let me make you feel good right now.”

  “Chase,” she whispered and ran her hand over my cheek. “I love you so much.” She pressed her forehead against mine and widened her knees so that they were on either side of me. Hell, I knew we were talking about important life issues but my dick was suddenly hard as steel. I needed something, even if it was just a taste. She needed it too. I could tell by the way she’d started breathing hard and pushing herself against me.

  Wordlessly I pushed her arms up and then lifted her shirt over her head. Her eyes were closed and her head rolled back as she started grinding her hips against me. I deftly reached down and got my pants open, impatiently sliding all that shit down far enough to release my dick.

  Steph still had her panties on but she was getting plenty hot just from grinding so I kept at it. When I shoved my hand down there to tease a little she let out a moan and sank against my chest. She was getting closer every seco
nd. Fuck, I loved watching her come. I was in the mood to watch it right now. I slid a finger into her to get her to the brink while she bore down hard. I knew exactly how she worked. Another few seconds and she’d clench up before the explosion shook her. I wanted to be closer to that. I wanted to be surrounded by it. I wanted to fucking explode with her, inside her. I gripped the flimsy fabric of her panties in a fist, knowing all it would take was a flick of my wrist to make that business history.

  “Let me,” I hissed, tugging hard to let her know what I wanted.

  She hesitated, even stopped moving.

  I tugged harder. “Let me.”

  “Yes,” she panted, rolling her hips in a search for my dick. “Do it.”

  One second later that pink lace was in shreds and I was in there deep with no plans to stop. She wasn’t on the pill and although we weren’t regularly careless it happened now and then.

  “Chase!” she gasped and there she was, coming so hard she shook everywhere, clutching me and even whimpering as she felt me follow her.

  “Baby,” I whispered a minute later as I pushed her sweaty hair out of her face and searched for her mouth. I wanted to kiss her, hold her, tell her I worshiped the fucking ground she walked on and that I’d do anything on earth to her, and for her, forever.

  But first Stephanie straightened up and looked me straight in the eye. She ran one fingertip lightly along my lips and then dropped her hand with a sigh.

  “By the way,” she said, “I’m pregnant.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  CORD

  I knew she’d stayed up way too late trying to finish just one more chapter so when the alarm started buzzing I switched it off lightning quick and tucked the quilt around her bare shoulders.

  Saylor stirred and murmured in her sleep before settling back into the pillow with a soft sigh. I spooned my body carefully around hers for a stolen moment, just enjoying her warmth and knowing that for the rest of the day my mind would keep returning here.

  In the week that had passed since my brothers and I had driven down to Emblem, something had been weighing on me. Something I couldn’t name, something that might not even be real. But it seemed to hover close with a silent threat all the same.

  A series of soft thumps turned into the sound of small footsteps and the girls appeared in the doorway, two little sleep-tousled cherubs who smiled at me lazily.

  I put a finger to my lips, motioning for them to be quiet, kissed Say on her cheek and hunted around the floor for my shirt before climbing out of bed.

  “I’m hungry,” announced Cami with a trace of impatience.

  “Me too!” agreed Cassie, bouncing on her toes.

  “Hush,” I whispered, ushering them out of the room and gently closing the door behind me. “Mommy’s still sleeping. I’ll get your breakfast.”

  My daughters automatically went to either side of me – Cami on the right, Cassie on the left – and reached for my hands. I walked them down the hall to the bright kitchen. Say had absently left the half-filled coffee carafe on the counter. She’d been putting in a lot of hours lately, trying to meet a deadline for her fifth book.

  “I want Marshies,” demanded Cami as she climbed onto the padded wooden bench at the table. Her sister followed her.

  I had to crack a grin as I found the cereal box after a quick pantry search. The girls were in the habit of calling it Marshies for short. It was Chase’s favorite cereal. He used to buy boxes by the dozen when we all shared an apartment. It occurred to me that I had no idea if he still did.

  “Juice too, Daddy,” chirped Cassie.

  “Of course,” I answered, pouring three heaping bowls of cereal with a generous amount of milk.

  My girls dove right into their breakfast the second I placed the bowls before them. I sat down at the table and happily watched them eat for a few minutes before tackling my own bowl. I had well over an hour before I needed to be at Scratch and it was only a five minute drive away.

  “I had a bad dream, Daddy,” Cassie said suddenly. She dropped her spoon on the table and propped her chin in her dimpled hands with a troubled look.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” I told her. “What was it about?”

  She looked at me mournfully. “You.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. You.”

  I took a drink of orange juice. I’d suffered horrible nightmares since I was about the girls’ age. Mine were different though. Mine were based on the truth, where a terrible giant chased relentlessly, always threatening to annihilate the only good things that lived in that desolate world. It seemed those nightmares had faded substantially when Saylor came into my life but even now sometimes I awoke in the middle of the night washed in a cold sweat, my heart pounding. The girls would have no reason for such nightmares.

  I set the orange juice back down, my mouth dry even though I’d just drained half the glass. “It was just a dream, honey. Daddy would never do anything scary.”

  The little girl frowned. “No. You weren’t scary.”

  “Why was it a bad dream then, sweetheart?”

  “You were lost.”

  “Lost?”

  She nodded her blonde head seriously. “We couldn’t find you. We couldn’t find you at all. You were nowhere.”

  I leaned forward and stared into my daughter’s eyes. “I’m not lost, Cassidy. I’m right here. I’ll always be right here.”

  “Promise?” she whispered in all earnestness.

  “I promise,” I whispered back and crossed my heart emphatically.

  “Mommy!” shouted Cami with delight and I looked up to see the most beautiful woman in the world walk into the kitchen.

  “Morning, Gentry family,” she yawned, pausing by the table to kiss the girls on each of their heads. They both gazed up at her with pure adoration. I knew just how they felt.

  I pushed my chair back from the table a few inches and opened my arms. “My turn.”

  Saylor gave me a happy smile and settled right into my lap while the girls giggled. Many years in the future, when my daughters were grown women reflecting on their childhood, I wanted them to remember without a shred of doubt that their father absolutely idolized their mother. I wanted them to believe that they deserved no less from any man.

  “What’s wrong?” my wife asked as her green eyes scanned me with a touch of concern.

  “Nothing,” I assured her with a squeeze. “Just enjoying a gourmet breakfast with all my favorite girls.”

  I would have liked to stay right in that spot all day but the clock was ticking. Reluctantly I left my little family and all their bright breakfast chatter to go jump in the shower and transition into work mode. As I was still toweling off I heard the distinct sound of my phone buzzing on the bedroom dresser. I didn’t run in there and grab it, figuring it was probably just Aspen chiding me for running a little late because in Aspen’s world, ‘late’ meant not twenty minutes early.

  After I pulled some clothes on and got around to picking up the phone, Saylor wandered in and slipped her arms around my waist. She buried her face in my neck while I stroked her hair.

  “Writing today?” I asked her.

  “Hopefully. Once I get the girls off to preschool I’ll have the luxury of a few uninterrupted hours.”

  She kissed my neck and I felt the familiar thunder rumbling low in my belly before shooting straight to my dick. My mind started making a deal with itself over sparing a few minutes to hike up her nightgown and get some relief.

  Say tilted her head back and smiled up at me. She knew exactly what I was thinking and she was all for it, already letting her hands travel lower and search for my zipper while I slid one nightie strap over her smooth shoulder. I let her cup the thick arousal in her palm, focusing on the way she wet her lips and the impatient set of her mouth. I was going to have fun with that mouth. I was going to invade it and own it and make it do whatever I wanted, just like I’d done a thousand times before and then –

  CRASH.

  SMASH.<
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  “CAMI!”

  “I didn’t do it! It just fell!”

  Saylor automatically pulled the strap of her nightie back up and hurtled through the bedroom door to discover the source of all the panic. Since there wasn’t any screaming or crying I figured there was no emergency so I took a few extra seconds to clear my head and tame my third leg before following.

  The unfortunate victim of the crash was a ceramic cactus statue that typically sat atop the sideboard. It was cheap and cheesy, a joke gift from our wedding. But painted on the front was a silly face that had appealed to the girls since they were babies. They named him Mr. Cobb for some unknown reason.

  Saylor was picking up the pieces while Cassie looked on with a mournful expression and Cami stood nearby with her hand over her mouth and her eyes filling with tears.

  “It was an accident,” she wailed when she saw me, one tear spilling over her round cheek. Cami wasn’t a child who cried often so her tears always hurt a little more to see.

  “Hey,” I soothed, putting a hand on her back while Saylor finished gathering the pieces. “It’s okay. I’m sure we can glue Mr. Cobb back together.”

  “Sure we can,” Saylor agreed brightly even though I saw the doubt in her eyes. We exchanged a look and understood each other. We’d search for a new Mr. Cobb on EBay or wherever.

  Cami was hiccupping lightly and swiping at her eyes. It had been purely an accident, I was sure of it. The girls liked to run their little fingers over the thing’s smiling mouth, that’s all. A sudden unwelcome memory invaded of how accidents were dealt with in the house I’d grown up in but I forced it away.

  “It’s okay, sweetheart,” I told my daughter as I bent to her level and pressed my cheek against her forehead while Saylor carefully placed the many pieces of Mr. Cobb in a Ziploc bag.

  Cami threw her arms around my neck and gave a little sigh that made me think of when she was a tiny baby. Like many infants she had spells where she was fretful, colicky. Sometimes the only way she’d fall asleep was on my shoulder where she’d stay for hours at a time.