Remember Me (Defiant MC) Read online

  (A Defiant MC Novel)

  By Cora Brent

  Copyright © 2014

  Cover art by Sloan Winters

  All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted without written permission.

  This book is a work of fiction. All names, characters and events are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  *Contains explicit language and sexual situations not recommended for readers under the age of 18.*

  I would like to thank all my wonderful readers out there who have gifted me with an outpouring of friendship, motivation and inspiration over the past few months.

  Also, I am forever indebted to the amazing community of indie authors who provide endless encouragement and support.

  Lastly, to the man who lost his mind and married me twelve years ago, you, are my Happily Ever After.

  [email protected]

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  Contents

  PROLOGUE

  CHAPTER ONE

  CHAPTER TWO

  CHAPTER THREE

  CHAPTER FOUR

  CHAPTER FIVE

  CHAPTER SIX

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  CHAPTER NINE

  CHAPTER TEN

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

  CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  EPILOGUE

  PROLOGUE

  Contention City, Arizona Territory

  1890

  In the end there was only a grave.

  The stone was small and modest with a temporary look about it. There wouldn’t be another one. The year of death was crudely chiseled. And underneath that, a one word epitaph: Brother.

  The man at her side was impatient. The body which had been deposited into the freshly dug hole meant little to him. Annika knew what an effort it was for him to allow her a few moments as she knelt in the dirt. She glanced up and the man’s eyes met hers for a second and then quickly shifted in the direction of the unseen mine. He was only beside her at all because he had a promise to keep. Her grief was not something which interested him.

  As Annika stood, the black crape which had been sewn onto her mourning dress fluttered in the dusty breeze. Two days earlier the dress had been a pale yellow. Lucia de Campo had assisted with the dyeing so Annika would have something appropriate to wear. There was no getting away from the awful smell of the dye. Annika could not breathe without feeling immersed in it as she was immersed in death.

  “We should be getting on,” the man said with a perceptible accent. He still faced away, towards the direction of the Scorpion Mine and idly rubbed the shoulder where he had taken a bullet a week earlier.

  Annika did not answer. Instead she looked at the mountains, a small range which would have been an unremarkable and overlooked portion of the Territory. However, some twenty years earlier a weary man scouting for signs of gold had paused there. He had spotted a curious rock outcropping and made it his business to reach it. Thus, the secrets held by the humble range were discovered.

  Gold.

  A blessing. A curse. Annika hated the word.

  The mountains stared innocently back at her as if they had nothing whatsoever to do with the awful things done by men. She uttered an obscenity. She hadn’t realized she’d spoke aloud until the man stared at her in surprise.

  It was unfair to blame the mountains. Or the trees. Or the sky. Men would do as they would anyway. If the reason wasn’t gold there would be another. Annika knew she was not without fault either. But this time no one would have the thing which had been the cause of so much blood. She had seen to that. It was hidden and would stay hidden, perhaps forever.

  The man waited as she limped toward the place where he waited with the horses. Her ankle still troubled her but it was a small matter. He helped her into the saddle of the gentle bay and she took the reins.

  As Annika followed him out of the brush she glanced back once. The place was lonely, a sad final resting spot for those who did not have means for a more proper arrangement. Contention City had claimed a lot of victims. It would claim more.

  She had written a final letter to her people in the east. She did not know when she would be able to write another one. As she mutely guided the horse in a purposely circuitous route around the prying eyes of Contention City, Annika tore the ugly black crape overlay from her dress and tossed it in the direction of a cluster of desert cat’s claw. She discarded the long veil as well. Let other women devote the precious years of their lives to these mourning conventions. Annika had something else to cling to.

  God help her, it had never been easy with him. But he was in her blood in a way no other man ever would be. She could not think of him without remembering the feel of his body and the fury it had roused in hers. Annika could not separate who he was from the lust of his touch. She didn’t want to. She leaned forward into the horse’s black mane and tried to settle her mind.

  The man slowly riding the horse in front of her knew nothing of her thoughts. He was only quietly fulfilling an obligation.

  “We’ll pause at midday, not before,” he tossed back curtly.

  “As you say,” Annika answered. She searched the sky. It would be hours before the sun reached its height. Yet it did not matter to her. Nothing but being in his arms again would quell the profound longing in her soul.

  Annika sat tall in the saddle, for once unbothered by the discomfort of her corset. She would ride under this blazing sun forever if it meant a chance to be reunited with him.

  In this world or another one.

  CHAPTER ONE

  Phoenix, Arizona

  Present Day

  Alice liked to taunt him with her kickass body. She coolly strolled around her apartment naked as the fucking sun while he lounged around with a cigarette in his mouth and his dick in his hand.

  “Come on back,” he begged, ready for her again.

  Alice Carter had a sweet smile which belied a quick and dirty mind. That was just fine though. It was what Maddox McLeod liked about her. He also felt some affection for the luscious planes of curvy flesh which stared him straight in the face as she mounted him and grinned wider. She arched her left eyebrow and let the hard nipples of her generous breasts graze against his chest as he groaned. Damn her, she knew how to play with him.

  “Well, Mad? I’m back. So what are you going to do about it?”

  He grabbed her and forced her underneath him. As her throaty laugh bubbled in his ear he entered her with a stiff thrust. She squeezed him inside more deeply with her tightly wrapped legs as he grabbed her blond hair close to her scalp and gave it to her hard. She liked it hard. This was the tenth time in two months he’d ridden out to Phoenix from Quartzsite to play these little skin games.

  “Hungry for it, huh?” he panted, making the bedsprings scream as she writhed underneath him.

  Alice covered his mouth with her hand. “Shut the fuck up,” she moaned, shuddering as he grabbed her tits and filled another rubber.

  He eased out of her and rolled off the debris, wrapping it in a tissue before tossing the mess into the wastebasket. Alice wasn’t paying any attention. She was dreamily watch
ing the ceiling with her shapely legs crossed. Maddox ran a finger over one nipple. She did not appear to even notice.

  “What?” he asked, offended by her lack of interest.

  Alice smiled. “Just thinking.”

  “What the fuck you thinking about?”

  She swatted his hand away. “You’re such a moody bastard.”

  “Shit,” he grumbled. “You’re thinking about that chick again, huh? So when do I get to meet her?”

  Alice was thoughtful. “That might be awkward.”

  Maddox had a brilliant idea. “Hey, you think she might-“

  He felt the sharp elbow before he got another word out. “I told you,” Alice explained patiently. “She doesn’t swing that way.”

  It was too late. Maddox was already enamored of the thought. “You could convince her. Hey, if she likes you enough, then she’ll want to make you happy as shit.”

  “But Mad, dear, nobody particularly wants to make you happy as shit.”

  He grabbed a handful of her ass. “You burn me, baby.”

  Alice sighed and Maddox rolled his eyes, irritated that she was about to explain things again. And nobody needed to explain things to Maddox McLeod. “Look, Maddox, we’ve had a damn good time.” She propped herself on an elbow and looked at him seriously. “But when you’re in a relationship you stop the random fucking.”

  He smiled at her. He knew the effect his looks had on women. In spite of her effort to be solemn, the corners of Alice’s mouth twitched and he saw the way her eyes scanned the hard muscles of his body.

  “I’m not random,” he reminded her.

  She thought about that. “No, you’re not.” They’d met under odd circumstances. She was a reporter and she’d driven out to Quartzsite to interview Promise, Gray’s girl. It was a whole lot of mess about cults and shit and Maddox was happy the bastards in charge of it all were in a cage now. But the second he saw Alice Carter sitting in that crappy bar, frowning at her laptop, he knew she was something he just had to have.

  She’d stepped on him a little when she mentioned she was getting over a girlfriend, but luckily Alice was a player for both teams. Now if only he could convince her to bat a full inning in his presence, well then he would thank Jesus and become a Mormon for at least a day or two.

  She stared at his hand as he moved it purposely over the silken flesh of her left breast. Then she pushed him away and began searching for her clothes. Maddox took the broad hint and rolled over onto his back, letting his arm rest across his eyes. Fun times were over.

  Alice seemed displeased with him. “Goddamn it, haven’t you ever had a relationship before?”

  She was talking about something other than a roll in the sheets. Mad knew she wanted him like hell but that’s all it ever was. A quick bang or two and he was back on his bike, careening down the desert highway. Oh, he wasn’t complaining. Alice was too complicated in the head. He didn’t have the energy to deal with her on that level. Frankly, he didn’t really have the will to deal with any woman on that level. It opened the doors to a whole lot of pain. He knew all about it already.

  “Relationship,” he frowned, trying out the word and staring at the ceiling beams.

  “Yeah,” Alice shoved him with the palm of her hand. She climbed back on the bed and sat cross legged. She always smelled like vanilla. “You know, hand holding and ‘I love you’ and not minding when someone else’s hair is clogging your sink. A relationship.”

  “Aw, sweetie,” he took her hand. “I didn’t know you cared that much.”

  “Screw you,” she shoved him again, but she was smiling. “No, really, Mad. Haven’t you ever fallen for anyone?”

  He turned away from her. “Nope.”

  Alice rested her chin on his shoulder. “I think you’re lying,” she said softly, and kissed his cheek. “I think something or someone awful happened to you once and that’s why you go pussy hopping as if you’re trying think through your dick.”

  Maddox bolted upright and hurtled off the bed. Alice gasped and he felt her eyes on him as he began furiously pawing through the mess of belongings strewn on the floor. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked in an incredulous voice.

  “It’s late, Al. I’m getting dressed and getting on my damn way.” He located his jeans and pulled them on. His boxers were nowhere in sight but fuck it. Mad pulled on his t-shirt and shrugged into his worn Defiant cut. His dark hair reached just past his chin. He knew how the rakish look appealed to the fairer sex but his hair whipped around like a flag out there on the open road and interfered with his vision. He couldn’t find the bandana he’d used to tie it back on the ride out here but fuck that too.

  “Mad,” Alice reached for him softly. “Look, I’m sorry. I was being a bitch.” She did look sorry as she tried to pull him back. “Why don’t we go grab some dinner before you go?”

  Maddox shook his head. “Nah, I think we’re done here.”

  Alice sighed and chewed her lip. “We’re friends, Mad. You know that, right?”

  He paused, turning his back to her. “Yeah, I know that, Alice.”

  Then he left, unintentionally slamming the door to her apartment before she could respond. He heard the door creak open and the sound of her voice calling after him but he forged briskly ahead, not pausing until he reached his bike in the sweltering parking garage. Then he stopped moving only long enough to swing his leg over the hot seat, rev the engine, and peel out. He didn’t even look to see if any other vehicles approached.

  Once he got out of the smoggy oppression of Phoenix the road felt good. Beyond the western end of the valley traffic was sparse and that was good too. Maddox kicked up his speed a notch and tried to push her out of his mind. Her face wasn’t welcome there, nor was the memory of her body or the sweet lilt of her voice. It wasn’t Alice’s fault and Mad started to feel a bit sorry he’d taken off the way he did. He believed her when she pledged her friendship but there were some things he couldn’t talk about. Even among the Defiant men. The only one who knew was Orion, and only because Maddox had drunkenly blurted it all out one night. Mad remembered plain as day how the Defiant Motorcycle Club President had fixed him with that piercing blue-eyed glare.

  “Maddox,” he growled. “The best way for a man to stay whole is to keep his nuts out of the past.”

  Hell, he wasn’t even a man when he’d known her. Eighteen years old doesn’t make a man, though he would have argued otherwise at the time. It was his senior year of high school when she’d descended on Contention City full of fire and nerve. She seemed to hate him on sight.

  “I don’t fucking speak Spanish, you prick,” she’d hissed irritably the first time they met, letting him know she wouldn’t stand for his assumptions.

  Maddox had held his hands out in mock apology but the truth was she had him right then. Darkly beautiful, brimming with spirit and vinegar, she seemed to think she had him figured out and didn’t like what she came up with. She was irresistible to Maddox. He’d never met a girl as sharply intelligent and as immune to his charms. It was all that much sweeter when he took her in his arms for the first time.

  Maddox squinted into the setting sun until his eyes pained him. He would not think her name. She was the reason he never went back there, no matter how much the old man begged on the rare occasions he dragged his tired ass out to Quartzsite to see his youngest son.

  Gabriela.

  Maddox closed his eyes for a few heartbeats and risked getting splattered on the I-10 as his guts turned inside out. Those were some cursed syllables to Maddox McLeod.

  When he opened his eyes again a big rig was closing in fast from behind, honking like a son of a bitch. Maddox sped up and leaned forward to let the hot wind comb his hair, moving it back and out of his face. Despite all the hurt which came from that name, Maddox couldn’t bring himself to hate her. No, that was an emotion he reserved for someone else, a man who he feared to be in the same room with again for all the violence that would come tumbling out.

&nbs
p; Genetic bonds didn’t mean shit when it came to brotherhood. You could be raised in the same house, share the same blood, and yet be cold as strangers. If her name was a curse then his was pure bile. The old man knew better than to speak it often but sometimes it slipped out. It was inevitable, Mad reasoned. After all, that guy was the son who stayed in place and took care of people. The good son.

  As Maddox began riding down into the flat stretch of scrubby desert which was home, the sun ducked behind the small mountain with a clumsily painted Q on the side. He wouldn’t have any more thoughts about ancient bullshit. What was done was done. There was no point in getting all riled up about it. Maddox never intended to see either Gaby or his brother again.

  The old man was a different story though. Maddox felt a pang when he remembered how worn out his father had looked the last time he’d visited. Priest McLeod couldn’t ride anymore. He drove a newer model automatic F-150 and it just seemed so damned wrong. Priest’s skin had grown paper thin as the drinking man’s disease ate away his flesh, leaving a confused shell. Maddox had watched his father for a long, painful moment as he climbed back into his vehicle for the drive back to Contention City. He’d been a juggernaut in his day, a beast to rival Orion Jackson. But such was the sad march of time. Someday everyone turned to dust. Some went quickly, others faded away with agonizing slowness. But dust all the same. And then what the fuck difference would any of it make? What had it all been for?

  Maddox coasted into town, trying to shake off his melancholy. It wasn’t like him. When the shadows of mortality did occasionally threaten he usually drank or screwed them away. Alice had given him a good workout and he wasn’t in need of a woman tonight. But the bar would be open and his boys would be around. Maddox felt cheered by the thought. They were what he needed right now.

  He recognized most of the bikes already parked in front of the Riverbottom Bar. The hour was getting on and the place would only get more crowded. Maddox wished he’d grabbed something to eat first. He knew too well there was nothing at all serviceable in his sloppy trailer.