In This Life Read online

  Kathleen awaited my answer.

  “I’ll give it some thought,” I said even though the store was low on my list of concerns.

  “I could meet you down there this afternoon,” she offered, checking her watch. “I’ve got to drop Emma off at preschool and then I have to meet a couple of clients but I can carve out some time around two.”

  I didn’t know why Kathleen should care so much about the store. It sounded like she had more than enough to keep her busy.

  “Maybe another day,” I said, glancing at Colin in his bouncer. He was still enthralled with the dangling pig.

  Kathleen was not pleased. “Nash, there are really some things that warrant immediate discussion where the store is concerned.”

  “Fine. Just not today.” I had some other things to figure out, like child rearing. And my own work had been put on hold. There were half a dozen unfinished projects sitting on my laptop and there was probably a limit to my clients’ sympathies.

  Kathleen frowned. “You also have two employees to consider, you know.”

  Nope, the thought hadn’t even occurred to me.

  “Are you one of them?” I asked her. That would explain why she was so insistent, although I would have thought Kathleen and her mega brains could do much better than working at a small town gift stop.

  She shook her head. “No. Well, sort of. I mean, I wasn’t one of the employees I was referring to. But I’ve been doing the books for the last three years so I can tell you everything you need to know about the store’s financial status.”

  “You’re an accountant?”

  She shook her head. “Closer to a bookkeeper. I operate independently and a number of Hawk Valley’s small businesses are my clients.” A sad smile touched her lips. “I have Heather to thank for that. She convinced your father to hire me when I had no degree and no experience and then she recommended me around town.”

  Kathleen dug around in a small brown handbag, plucked out a business card, and handed it over.

  KATHLEEN DOYLE

  SHOEBOX BOOKKEEPING

  Serving small businesses all over Hawk County.

  Let me take care of your needs!

  I had to stifle a snort over the last tagline. I might go to hell for thinking it, but I’d be glad to outline a few ways she could ‘take care’ of my needs.

  “Are you laughing?” Kathleen asked.

  I shoved her business card into my back pocket. “Nope. Just had to clear my throat.”

  She played with a long red curl and eyed me. “So does two o’clock work for you?”

  I had the feeling she was going to pester me until I agreed. Besides, I should take a look at the store and consider the options. My dad’s will had left me in charge of all managerial decisions and the store was something I’d have to deal with sooner or later.

  “I’ll make it happen,” I said. “I’ll just clear my blistering social schedule.”

  Kathleen smiled, a real smile, not a melancholy one. She might be bossy and occasionally condescending but this girl could compete with the sun. She was beautiful.

  Emma sulked when her mother told her it was time to leave. “I wanna stay with Roxie.”

  “It’s time for preschool, sweetie. Remember, it’s a special day. The class is getting a new goldfish.”

  Emma crossed her arms and then I saw her resemblance to her mother. “But I wanna stay here.”

  “Hey,” I said and the kid looked at me like she’d forgotten I existed. “You can come back and see Roxie anytime. I mean that, Emma.”

  And I did. I’d be a cold-blooded creep if I wasn’t at all moved by a little girl who loved my dog.

  Emma smiled. She kissed the dog on the top of her head and reached for Kathleen’s outstretched hand. Kathleen mouthed the words, “Thank you,” and I nodded.

  “By the way,” Kathleen said before she closed the kitchen door behind her, “that white minivan parked in front of the house was Heather’s. There’s a car seat already in the back and the keys should be on the hook beside the front door.”

  “Okay.”

  “If you take Colin anywhere you’ll need to strap him into a car seat.”

  Seriously? I was no baby specialist but for crying out loud l knew at least that much.

  “Thanks, Kathleen,” I said, a little sarcastically.

  She didn’t notice. “See you at two?”

  “I’ll be there.”

  She broke into another brilliant smile and waved at Colin. “Bye bye, beautiful baby boy,” she said in a voice that made her sound like she’d been sucking on helium.

  Once the door was closed the room felt awful empty. Roxie whined and gave me a puzzled canine look, probably wondering what I’d done to drive her new best friend away.

  “Forgot to feed you this morning, didn’t I?” I asked.

  The bag of dog food I’d thrown in the truck before we left Oregon was almost gone. I poured the rest into a dish and set it on the floor. Roxie dove right in and my own stomach growled. There was a stack of casseroles in the fridge, all brought by well-meaning neighbors, but nothing sounded good right now. I needed to go grocery shopping today. I needed to do a lot of things.

  Colin kicked his legs and waved his arms, hitting the fuzzy pink pig in the process.

  “Well little guy,” I said, trying to sound half as cheerful as Kathleen and failing, “what should we do first?”

  The kid made a weird face, turned bright red, and expelled an unmistakable sound; wet shit hitting a diaper.

  “My fault for asking,” I said.

  My brother grinned at me.

  Being here felt strange, almost intrusive. I’d never been in the shop when it was empty. Chris had given me the alarm code and a key right before Colin was born. He said it was just a precaution, just in case something came up while he was busy at the hospital. He trusted his employees and one of them had been with him for over a decade, but he wanted another backup. Someone nearby, someone reliable.

  “Someone who’s family.”

  The last time I was here was only a little over a week ago when I dropped off the monthly financial reports and handed over the payroll checks. Chris emerged from the small stockroom and greeted me with a smile. He thanked me for agreeing to watch the baby so he and Heather could enjoy a night at the mountain cabin for their anniversary.

  I felt a chill even though the place was far from cold. The carefully stocked shelves and bright displays were projecting a kind of post apocalyptic feel in the dim light so I found a switch and flipped on enough lights to erase the afternoon shadows. The inventory was eclectic, everything from gaudy roadside souvenirs to handmade fine art.

  After a few minutes I checked my watch again. Nash was late. I wondered if he’d show up. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t. The store really did require some immediate management decisions. I hadn’t made that up. But dealing with Nash Ryan might not be an easy task. He still radiated defiance, the years having done little to blunt the natural rebelliousness that once fascinated me.

  That was another thing. The infatuations of adolescence hadn’t faded completely. This morning I’d felt flustered and nervous under his gaze. It was a feeling I disliked, one I didn’t pursue. That wasn’t all due to Nash. I was thinking of my own mistakes, of realizing too late that a man who made me uneasy was the wrong choice.

  As for Nash, he knew damn well how good he looked in the kitchen standing there in his boxers, a ripped monument of virility, silently daring me to check him out. I couldn’t help but comply. Moreover, I had a feeling he was well aware of it.

  I sighed in the empty store. As usual, I was overanalyzing. In all likelihood Nash wasn’t trying to catch anyone’s attention, least of all mine. He was tired and struggling to keep up with his new responsibilities. I was the one who’d busted into his kitchen without calling this morning.

  I’d been driving Emma to preschool and making a mental note to give Nash a call later on today when I detoured over to the oldest section of Haw
k Valley. I couldn’t stop thinking about Colin. I needed to make sure he was all right after being placed in the care of a man who was obviously clueless about taking care of a baby. A man who’d always despised his father and had never shown the slightest interest in Colin’s existence.

  That’s not fair, Kat.

  I drummed my fingers on the metal bars of a postcard rack. Maybe it wasn’t fair. Heather had confided in me so that I knew the relationship between Chris and Nash had been strained, complicated. But I was willing to set fairness aside when it came to Colin’s best interests. If Nash proved to be an incompetent guardian then I was prepared to step in.

  The door chime jarred me out of my brooding and Nash walked through the glass door, car seat in hand.

  “He’s asleep,” Nash whispered and looked around for a place to set the baby down.

  I beckoned and led him to Chris’s office in the back. Nash gently placed the car seat in the middle of his father’s old desk. He stopped and looked around for a second and I wondered what he was remembering. He must have been in this room a thousand times while growing up. But when he turned to follow me back to the store his face was impassive.

  “Did the car ride knock him out?” I asked when we were out of earshot.

  Nash nodded and leaned against the checkout counter. He gazed around the store but didn’t seem especially interested in anything he saw.

  “Heather used to drive him around the block over and over again to lull him to sleep,” I said.

  Nash scratched his chin.

  I cleared my throat. “I guess it’s been a long time since you’ve seen the store.”

  He pointed to the far wall. “There used to be rows of t-shirts over there.”

  “They were poor sellers. The store still carries some but they are higher quality.”

  “Do they all have the words Hawk Valley on them?”

  “Pretty much.”

  He scoffed. “I don’t know who wants to buy that garbage except for people who already live in Hawk Valley.”

  I argued with him. “You’d be surprised. We’ve had more tourist traffic through here in the last few years. The city council just voted to fund a campaign to change the town slogan to ‘Discover Hawk Valley: Gateway to the Hawk Mountains.’ The population in the Phoenix area continues to grow and people are always looking for weekend escapes to somewhere slightly cooler.”

  Nash smirked. “You sound like a travel brochure.”

  “So? I think Hawk Valley is a great town.”

  He raised an eyebrow. “So that’s why you stayed here?”

  No, that wasn’t why. I’d always dreamed of a big city future. Things just didn’t work out that way. Still, I felt defensive and irritable that Nash was knocking my hometown. There were far worse places to be.

  “I like to think I can appreciate what’s in front of me,” I said, “instead of always hunting for something else.”

  Nash laughed outright.

  “Shh,” I warned. “You’ll wake Colin up.” I didn’t know what I’d said to entertain him. “Why do you find me so funny?”

  Nash looked at me. “I don’t, Kathleen.”

  “That’s the second time today you laughed in my face.”

  He frowned. “When was the first?”

  “When I gave you my business card.”

  “I don’t remember laughing.”

  “It was evident from your expression that you were barely holding it in.”

  He let out an obnoxious low whistle. “Damn, have you always been this psychic?“

  “Cut it out.”

  “No, seriously, you could monetize that skill.”

  “Your sarcasm leaves a lot to be desired.”

  “You could rent a little hovel on Garner Avenue, hang beaded curtains in the doorway and charge people twenty bucks apiece while gazing into a glass ball and pretending to see something exciting.”

  “Nash!”

  “Kathleen,” he said, mocking my frustrated voice.

  “You’re exhausting,” I said wearily.

  “And you’re easily flustered,” he said and yawned.

  I took a breath, trying to keep my temper and failing. “Look, my plate is full. I’m a business owner, a mother, and a student. But I’ve bent over backwards to help you and I don’t appreciate being regarded as a joke!”

  “Shhh.” Nash put his finger to his lips and glanced toward the office doorway. “Now who’s gonna wake the baby up?”

  Nash wasn’t laughing now but he was clearly enjoying himself. I was struck by how little I really knew him. He’d been a puzzle even to his family. Heather confessed that she kept hoping he’d mellow out and accept Chris’s attempts at reconciliation. But that never happened because evidently Nash was still a stubborn bastard. I shouldn’t be surprised. The boy who went around with a truck-sized chip on his shoulder had never evolved. He’d just gotten bigger. Stronger. Better looking.

  Apparently Nash realized he’d overstepped. He sighed and his expression became almost remorseful. “I don’t think you’re a joke, Kathleen. Not at all. I apologize if I gave that impression.”

  I wasn’t sure he meant it but I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. “Apology accepted. And you can call me Kat.”

  “I’ll stick with Kathleen.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Nash looked around again. “So what am I doing here?”

  It was a deep question. “I know it’s not ideal but Colin needs you and-“

  “At the store, Kathleen. What was so urgent that I needed to come down here today?”

  I had to move to the counter where I’d left my laptop. Nash watched me from less than two feet away. I flipped open the lid and examined the data I’d already memorized.

  “Net income is still in the red this year. Sales were hurt over the winter when there was a ton of road construction on Garner Avenue. There’s a temporary cash flow problem. It happens now and then and Chris would usually loan the money to the store out of his personal funds but the renovations he and Heather completed on the house were costlier than expected. He didn’t have much to spare. Compounding the problem is the fact that the bank changed his line of credit terms. There’s enough to pay utilities and meet payroll but not enough to order new seasonal inventory and with the busy summer season coming up it’s essential to address the issue. Plus every day the store stays closed is a day without sales.”

  Nash looked at the door. “Doesn’t look like anyone’s beating a path to get in here.”

  My eyes narrowed. “The big sign that says CLOSED might have something to do with that.”

  “So the store is failing?”

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “You sure didn’t paint a rosy picture.”

  “You need to reopen, Nash. And you need to address the line of credit issue and order new inventory before the summer rush.”

  He sighed. “For crying out loud, I don’t know anything about running a souvenir shop.”

  “Of course you do. This is your family’s business. You were practically raised here.”

  “No, I grudgingly operated the cash register during the summer when I was a teenager. I never knew or cared how the place functioned.”

  I shut the lid of my laptop. “Well, it’s time to care, Nash.”

  He didn’t agree. He again glanced toward the room where Colin slept. “Maybe it’s time to let it go,” he said softly.

  My mouth fell open. “You can’t do that.”

  He gave me an odd look. “It’s a souvenir shop, not a national treasure. The world will be just fine without more ugly ceramic mugs.”

  My fists clenched. “This was your father’s business. He would have wanted it to survive.”

  “Yeah, he probably wanted to survive himself. But as I reminded you earlier, that’s not the reality we’re dealing with.”

  “Nash,” I said sharply, then bit off the next words. My mother had always warned me that bossiness was not an agreeable quali
ty.

  Actually, her words were, ‘Don’t be so bitchy,” but the sentiment was the same. I couldn’t bulldoze Nash into seeing things my way. He had a lot on his plate too.

  “It’s important,” I said softly.

  He raised an eyebrow but waited politely for me to continue.

  “The store,” I continued. “It’s hard for small businesses to hold on in this day and age. Your family has run this place in one form or another for over forty years. It means something to the people around here, and it will mean even more to them now that your dad’s gone.” I scanned the back wall where paintings from artists in the area hung in expectant silence, waiting for a buyer. “Everyone wants a reason to be optimistic.”

  “A happy ending,” Nash said but he didn’t sound sarcastic now. Only sad. “I don’t think it’s possible in this situation.”

  “Maybe not a happy ending. Just a less tragic one. It would hurt to see the store close. And I don’t just mean because it would be an empty storefront on Garner Avenue. Every painting you see on that back wall comes from an artist, including your Aunt Jane. There’s probably not a kitchen cabinet in town that doesn’t have one of those Hawk Valley Happiness cups that Heather designed. Your father sponsored a local little league team every year. The two employees are an elderly woman with a disabled husband who has worked here for over ten years and a college student studying to be a teacher. There are a lot of people, including me, who are happy to help you keep the store open if you’ll only give it a try.”