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  “Well,” my father said, glancing at Aspen, who was still standing at my side. “Actually the starry sky above isn’t the only change.”

  Cami looked puzzled, her eyes shifting to me in search of clues.

  “I’m leaving,” Aspen spoke up. “Brick’s parents aren’t in the greatest health and they won’t leave Colorado so we’re moving to be near them.”

  I’d forgotten that Cami hadn’t heard this news yet. Between her college graduation and the planned move back to Arizona, there’d always been other things to talk about. Aspen had given her notice almost a month ago but right before I left for San Diego I’d heard my dad telling my mother he was still searching for Aspen’s replacement. Her last day was just around the corner so he was running out of time.

  Cami was dismayed. “I can’t imagine this place without you.”

  Aspen hugged her. “I’ll be back to visit. And I’m sure your dad will find someone who can fill my shoes.”

  I glanced down at Aspen’s shoes. They were glittery fuchsia-colored platforms. Fitting into them would be a tall order for anyone.

  Our dad walked us out to the car. He raised an eyebrow when he saw how we’d crammed all of Cami’s belongings in there so haphazardly but there was no way to neatly pack some objects, like the orange beanbag chair she’d insisted on carting back to Arizona.

  “See you at home, kid,” my dad said to me. He rapped on the hood to get Cami’s attention before she climbed into the passenger seat. “Five pm tomorrow.”

  “We’ll be there,” Cami promised. After she shut the car door she cranked the air conditioning up full blast.

  “Damn, I can’t believe Aspen’s leaving,” she said. “She’s like a member of the family.”

  “I know.” I looked to make sure no one was coming and then piloted the car out of the parking lot. “I think that’s why Dad is dragging his feet over hiring a replacement. It seems wrong to have someone else sitting behind the front desk.”

  Cami tapped out a text on her phone. From the blushing smile on her face I could tell she was talking to Dalton. She finished the conversation and tossed the phone on the dashboard.

  “I’m glad you’re back to stay,” I said. “I mean, obviously you won’t be living at the old Gentry homestead but I always hated the idea of you being hundreds of miles away.”

  My sister touched my arm. “Me too.”

  “And if you ever want a break from Dalton, your side of the room will always be waiting for you.”

  “Like a shrine?”

  “More or less.”

  “You don’t have to do that. Feel free to use the space.”

  “It’s not necessarily my call. Mom is pretty insistent that nothing in your former habitat ought to be altered.”

  “She’ll come around.” Cami snorted with laughter. “On the other hand, I can easily picture Cord and Saylor Gentry faithfully dusting off our old dolls every day in the hopes we’ll return to play with them again.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “That’s a little depressing.”

  “Well, it must be tough when your children grow up,” Cami mused. “Some parents probably enjoy having empty rooms to fill. But I doubt ours will feel the same way.”

  “Not all the rooms are empty,” I reminded her. “I won’t be going anywhere for a while.”

  My twin sister shot me a searching look. “Don’t do that.”

  “What?”

  “Don’t be too hard on yourself, Cass. You’re figuring things out.”

  “I’m trying,” I sighed.

  “You’re taking a class this summer, right?”

  “Just one evening class. Statistics, to fulfill that pesky math requirement. Otherwise I’m full time at the bookstore.”

  “Did you give anymore thought to what I said about transferring to ASU?”

  “One step at a time. I’ll stick with community college for at least one more semester.”

  Cami poked me in the side. “You know I will always believe you are awesome.”

  There was nothing insincere about the comment. My sister was my biggest cheerleader.

  “I know,” I said and gave her a grateful smile before I slowed for a right turn. “Now get out your cash because you’re buying me a burger and strawberry milkshake.”

  “I thought you said you were beginning a health food regimen?”

  “I am. I’ve just decided it can begin next week.”

  We ate in the car with the air conditioning on high and then drove to Cami’s new apartment. The apartment complex was an upscale place on the edge of a desert preserve. I wasn’t surprised to find Dalton Tremaine casually leaning against the building. Cami emitted a girlish squeal of excitement and jumped out of the car before I came to a full stop. She flew into his strong arms without hesitation. I still couldn’t help but be charmed over the way my brilliant, beautiful, incurably sarcastic twin sister had fallen so completely in love but I guess that’s the way it happens. When it happens.

  “Welcome home, honey,” Dalton said and Cami responded by kissing him passionately.

  Dalton offered me a polite greeting once he managed to disconnect from my sister. He was a good guy. I’d figured that out the first time I met him just about a year ago. I couldn’t think of another man I’d rather see my sister with. And even though my dad grumbled under his breath now and then, especially now that Cami was moving into Dalton’s place, I knew he held Dalton in high regard.

  I ended up following Cami inside because Dalton was adamant about unloading the car himself. His broad shoulders and muscled arms were far more effective than I could ever be and it only took him two trips to haul Cami’s eclectic mix of possessions into the apartment. They both tried to get me to stick around for a while, but I gracefully bowed out, figuring they deserved the chance to be alone together.

  Cami hugged me on the way to the door. “Thanks for making the trip.”

  “It was nice to take a break from the bookstore,” I said, trying to dismiss a nagging sense of melancholy.

  Of course I was thrilled for my sister. She’d graduated with honors, secured a fantastic job and was now taking bold new steps in life and love. Yet this still seemed like the end of an era. We’d never again live side by side in the lilac bedroom where we spent a happy childhood.

  “I guess I’ll see you at dinner tomorrow?” Cami asked, opening the door.

  “Naturally,” I said. “I get off work at six and I’ll come right home.”

  She smiled. “Good.”

  Before I stepped out into the blazing sunlight I turned my attention to Dalton. “Treat her well or I’ll find a way to kick your ass.”

  Dalton looked amused. That was probably an appropriate response when being cheerfully threatened by a blonde chick who barely reached your shoulder and was wearing pink flip-flops. I knew I’d never have to make good on the threat. Dalton worshipped Cami.

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. Then he grinned at me as he slung a casual hand over Cami’s shoulders. “Thanks for bringing her home to me, Cassie.”

  The door had scarcely closed at my back when I heard Cami squeal. “Put me down you animal!” Then she laughed.

  I didn’t hear what came next nor did I want to guess. My phone pinged with a new message as soon as I got behind the wheel of the Toyota. Earlier, while standing in the parking lot at Scratch, I’d texted my boss to confirm my schedule at the bookstore for the upcoming week and I expected this was the response. Remembering that also brought to mind a certain Angry Hot Guy. I hadn’t given a thought to leaning against his car while I set my cup down and tapped out a message on my phone. But he’d come out of nowhere and delivered a penetrating glare that made me feel both uncomfortable and thoroughly undressed. I was not proud of myself for being intrigued.

  The interaction was slightly embarrassing but it didn’t matter. My father’s tattoo parlor saw all kinds of people and the chances were almost nonexistent that I’d ever run into him again. There were plenty of other thing
s to think about. Summer loomed ahead and maybe one of these days I’d bite the proverbial bullet and say yes to one of the nice guys who came into the bookstore pretending to be looking for an obscure Tolstoy translation as a way to start a flirty conversation.

  As expected, the text was from Davida, the bookstore general manager. I read it, paused to crank up the air conditioner, then reread it in the hopes I had misunderstood the first time.

  I hadn’t misunderstood.

  “Well, that’s just fucking great,” I said to the empty passenger seat.

  And just like that, summer was off to a shitty start.

  CHAPTER THREE

  “How much more homework do you have?” I asked.

  My kid brother frowned and considered the question. A wrinkle of worry deepened between his brows and he looked older for a moment. Less like a carefree thirteen-year-old boy and more like a world-weary adult with a hundred troubling things on his mind.

  “Just a few more questions,” Brecken answered and bent down once more to examine the paper in front of him. His pencil made a hesitant mark, which he promptly erased with a sigh.

  I watched him. “Is summer school going okay?”

  “Don’t know. It just started.” He sounded annoyed. Brecken hated the fact that he was spending his summer mornings in a classroom but he’d fallen way behind this year and when the school recommended summer classes it seemed like a good idea. Plus there was a community center right next door that hosted a free teen day camp so when he was finished with his class he could hang out there all afternoon and that was a load off my mind. I sure as hell didn’t want him brooding in this crappy room alone all summer.

  “Have you made any cool new friends?” I asked, aware that I sounded like a jackass. Brecken must have been aware of it too because he shot me a brief look of disgust before turning his attention back to his work.

  I gave up the interrogation and gathered the rest of the trash leftover from dinner. We’d had tacos again because they were only two for a dollar at the place up the street. Fast food wasn’t an ideal daily diet for a growing boy, but it was the best I could do at the moment. That would change though. That would change real soon.

  “Finish your milk,” I said and Brecken grudgingly took a sip of the tiny carton of milk I’d picked up at the corner gas station on the way home because Taco Dreams only offered soda and brightly colored sugary crap.

  Brecken suddenly made a face and pushed the carton away. A few drops sloshed out onto the tiny, deeply scarred table. “I don’t like milk,” he grumbled. “Never have.”

  I wiped up the spill with a crumpled napkin. “You should have at least one healthy thing a day,” I said. “So please drink a little more.”

  My little brother was unmoved by the plea. He gave me a stubborn look.

  “For me,” I added and he relented, nodding and gulping back a few mouthfuls before setting the carton back down and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. It was a tiny victory but I’d take it. Brecken was already small for his age and the events of the past six months had taken a toll. He peered out from beneath a mop of sandy hair with bewildered young eyes and his shoulders always seemed to droop. My heart hurt when I looked at him. Almost as much as it hurt when I looked at my other brother. Tristan. He should have been home hours ago but there was no sign of him.

  I carefully wrapped the leftover tacos in some brown napkins. There was no fridge in here and they wouldn’t keep for long. It probably didn’t matter anyway. Tristan always claimed to have eaten already, although I didn’t know how a jobless teenager managed to pull that off. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. He’d found a rough crowd to run around with in the short time we’d been here but they couldn’t be as bad as the boys he was hanging around with down in Emblem. That was one of the reasons why we left. There were other reasons too; the little family money we had was gone overnight and I had no way to make an honest living down there. Jobs weren’t plentiful and people knew who I was. Every day Tristan grumbled that he planned to catch a ride back home but he hadn’t skipped out yet. He’d even managed to stay inside the high school building every day when I dropped him off with two dollars for lunch and a few corny words of encouragement. He should have graduated this year but his dyslexia had been caught late and back in Emblem he’d once repeated a grade so he still had one more year to go. However, now that school was out for the summer I wasn’t too sure how Tristan was spending his days. He insisted he was job hunting but I had my doubts.

  Sometimes I suspected Tristan was sticking around more for Brecken’s sake than anything else and that scared me because sooner or later the feeling of obligation wouldn’t be enough. Eventually the restless look in his eyes would anchor him to something bad, something that would take him away from us. I would know. I’d been just like him once. Sometimes I felt like taking the kid by the shoulders and shaking him until he understood the things I’d only learned after wasting years dicking around. But for now I was reduced to keeping an uneasy eye on Tristan and hoping a few of the things I told him sunk in before he turned eighteen in a few months and realized there were no legal obstacles standing in his way.

  “Um, Curtis?” Brecken said my name in a strange voice and I saw he was staring at my hand. There was grease running down my arm because I’d managed to crush the leftover tacos in my fist while tormented with ugly thoughts of Tristan’s future.

  “One of these days I’ll understand my own strength,” I joked and Brecken broke into a smile before bending his head back to his homework.

  I cleaned myself up and took a seat at the rickety dining table. Besides the two beds and a raggedy armchair it was the only furniture in the room. No one staying at Empire Motel expected luxury accommodations though. It was just a way station with cheap rates, populated by an uneasy mix of both petty criminals and good people who were down on their luck.

  “I got a job today,” I said.

  Brecken raised his eyebrows and tapped his pencil against the paper. “But you already had a job.”

  Shoveling piles of landscaping rocks was only a temporary position. It paid shit, offered no breaks and at the end of every shift I had to massage the feeling back into my arms.

  “I got a better one,” I told my brother.

  “Doing what?”

  “I’ll be working at a famous tattoo parlor.”

  His expression was doubtful. “You know how to draw tattoos?”

  “No. They’re training me on piercings. Plus I’ll be in charge of merchandising and other odd jobs as needed.”

  Brecken nodded. “You really should be doing tattoos.” He pointed to my heavily inked arms. “You sure have enough of them.”

  “I’m not that artistic. But the pay will be good and tomorrow I’ll start looking for a better place to live.”

  Brecken gazed around our threadbare setting. “Good.”

  Somewhere nearby a woman screamed ‘Cocksucker!’ The sound of breaking glass followed.

  “Where’s Tristan?” Brecken asked.

  Where’s Tristan? Where’s Tristan?

  The question bounced around my head. I wished I knew the answer.

  “He’ll be here soon,” I assured the kid even though I had no way of knowing whether it was true. “Now let’s take a look at that math.”

  After an hour of struggling with Brecken’s math homework, we managed to get through most of it. I wished I could offer him more help. Silently I cursed myself for my own failures in school. In my sophomore year, after months of chronic ditching, I got the news that I wouldn’t pass to the next grade so I’d said fuck it and quit on the spot. I’d been sixteen at the time, even younger than Tristan.

  “Time to get ready for bed,” I said. “Don’t forget to brush your teeth.”

  Brecken tossed his math book into his backpack and then gave me a rather withering look. “I’m thirteen,” he reminded me. “I know that I have to brush my fucking teeth.”

  I scowled. “Language, please.”
r />   My brother stared at me for a few heartbeats and I wondered what he was thinking, if he was remembering the way I used to be, full of bad attitude and furious words. Even when I was at my worst I’d tried to shield my brothers from knowing too much but I had no doubt they’d managed to pick up on a few things. I wasn’t the best role model but these days I was all they had. And I was trying every day to do better.

  “Okay, Curtis,” Brecken said quietly and then headed for the bathroom. The door closed and a few seconds later I heard water running.

  As I listened to the sound of my little brother brushing his teeth I settled into the armchair and mulled over how I’d gotten here. I’d been living in a hardscrabble town called Nedry, just on the other side of the state line in California. I hadn’t exactly been a model citizen, reselling stolen electronics in a back room of a bar owned by a buddy of mine. It wasn’t outstanding money but it was more than what I needed. More importantly, it didn’t involve blood or violence and I could breathe a little easier because no longer was I beholden to a toxic group of lowlifes like the fuckers I’d gotten in too deep with in Emblem. It was a laidback, day-to-day existence and occasionally I’d find a pretty face to hook up with for a while, the sort that partied hard and didn’t care much when I stopped calling.

  That was the way things stood when I got the call from home.

  My mother had been arrested for insurance fraud. She and her chiropractor boss had been running all kinds of bogus claims for years. They might have gotten away with it if they hadn’t been idiots and gotten greedy at the same time the new district attorney wanted to make an example out of someone in order to stem the tide of similar crimes. My mother and I hadn’t been close for as long as I could remember. Even before my father caught a stray bullet in the throat at a convenience store she seemed perplexed by a son who was growing up too fast and already finding trouble way beyond his years. But she wasn’t a terrible parent. Even though we’d exchanged some harsh words at times she was never a deadbeat or physically abusive to me or to my younger brothers. So when I heard her voice on the phone hyperventilating about charges and prison time I could hardly believe it. By that point I hadn’t been home to Emblem in three years. There’d been a big crackdown and most of my old friends as well as my enemies were either in prison or dead. And yet I didn’t think twice before I packed up and drove across the state line back to Arizona, and back to Emblem.