Hold (Gentry Boys #5) Read online

  “Hey Mia?”

  She turned around and cocked her head, waiting for me to continue.

  “Uh, you’re not intruding. You and Jacob. You guys are family and you’re both welcome here as long as you need to stay, as long as you want to stay.”

  She stared at me for a few seconds and then a genuine smile touched her mouth. For a moment I could see the resemblance she bore her sister and it made me glad I’d said what I’d said.

  “Thanks, Creed,” she said softly. “Not just for this, but for being a good man for my sister. I was damn sorry I missed your wedding.”

  I shrugged. “No worries. You know, Tru loves you and your boy like crazy and anything we can do for you guys we will.”

  She nodded and her gaze shifted away as her thin eyebrows drew together. “You will,” she said in a vague voice as if she was talking to herself. “And she will.”

  “Well, yeah,” I said, feeling at a loss because the girl had apparently switched directions and gone weird again. “Good night.”

  I’d returned to bed feeling a little strange about the whole thing, but since I wasn’t the least bit psychic it wouldn’t do any good to sit up fretting over it. The next thing I knew it was dawn and my wife was huddled in the corner with a baby in her arms, trying to sing softly enough not to disturb me.

  “So what’s on your agenda for today?” I asked, snatching a shirt off the floor and pulling it over my head.

  “An exam. I’ve got to be up there by nine. I swear I’ll be back by eleven.”

  “Okay,” I shrugged, a little puzzled why she was giving me her soft-eyed sheepish look.

  “You were planning on being around, right?”

  “Yeah, I guess. Was going to work on some songs and maybe hit the gym.”

  “But you’ll watch Jacob until I get back?”

  “Watch Jacob? You mean babysit? You taking Mia with you?”

  “No,” she said softly and kissed the baby’s head. “She’s so tired, Creed. Please.”

  I almost told her about my run-in with Mia in the middle of the night. I also almost blurted out my theory that her sister wasn’t the most stable or sane person ever. But as I saw the sad look on Truly’s face I figured she was already well aware of Mia’s precarious mental state. She’d always described Mia as soft-hearted and rather fragile, the one Lee sister who had the most trouble bearing up against life’s battering rams. It suddenly struck me that I’d seen that type before. Maybe that’s why last night’s short conversation left me so unsettled. Meridian Lee in all her wounded instability reminded me of Maggie Gentry.

  Truly was right. There were occasions where honest words should be spoken.

  And there were others where they were better left unuttered.

  “I’ll watch him,” I promised, crossing the room to wrap my arms around her briefly. “Just let me shower and get my eyes open a little wider.”

  Truly rested her head against my shoulder and my hands traveled up and down her back while my dick decided to perk up and say good morning. But since there was also a baby wedged between us, now was not a good time for fun and games. Truly knew my moods too well. She rolled her eyes and blushed.

  “Behave,” she warned, backing toward the door.

  “Been behaving for days,” I grumbled “I think my parole hearing is coming up.”

  “It is, I promise.” She got up on her tiptoes and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “You really are a prince.”

  I tucked a lock of black hair behind her ear and let my fingertips linger on her cheek. “Only because you made me one.”

  She gave me long, loving look and shook her head. “No, Creedence. You always were.”

  Goddamn, I married the right girl.

  The time to be sentimental ended abruptly when Jacob decided he was hungry and started thrashing around.

  “Please don’t take long in the shower,” Truly said as she opened the door. “I’ve still got to get ready.”

  “I’m quick. I’ll be in and out before you know it.”

  She smirked. “You’re never quick.”

  “I can be anything, including quick, so stop teasing me before I make you go put that baby down so I can prove it to you.”

  She giggled and patted Jacob as he settled down. As she headed down the hall with the kid over her shoulder, Jacob made gurgling noises and I could swear he was laughing at me. Truly paused at Mia’s bedroom, opened the door, peeked inside, and then withdrew with a sigh.

  I really could be quick when I wanted to be. I jumped in the shower, jerked off to get rid of my stubborn boner and got cleaned up all within five minutes. As I was getting into a fresh set of clothes I remembered that I had yet to fill my brothers in on this latest turn of events. I wasn’t a phone talker and this wasn’t really the time for lengthy explanations so I shot Cord a text asking if he wanted to meet for lunch. I was about to text Chase but then remembered he’d be working all the way downtown. Anyway Chase wouldn’t have let it go if he thought there was news. He would have called me every three minutes until I spilled my guts.

  Truly was curled up on the couch feeding Jacob a bottle. The pair of them looked so serene and perfect together I was sorry I’d hustled through getting ready because I knew she would now reluctantly get up and leave.

  Once she handed the baby off she went straight into a whirlwind of showering and dressing. There was hardly a woman on earth who could look as good after three hours as Truly could look after twenty minutes. She looked in on the sleeping Mia one more time, fired off a rapid fire list of instructions involved in the care of Jacob, then blew me a perfumed kiss on her way out the door.

  “All right, kid,” I said to Jacob, “be good until she gets back and I’ll set up a college fund for you.”

  Jacob responded by grimacing and unleashing a mighty storm of gas.

  “Aw, shit,” I muttered because a second later the smell hit and I knew that’s exactly what we were dealing with.

  Jacob smiled at me serenely.

  Truly had left all the baby paraphernalia in plain sight so I had no trouble finding diapers and wipes. It was the first time I’d ever mopped shit off another human being but I thought I did a good job. As I was snapping Jacob back into his blue and white outfit he gurgled and laughed and I found myself smiling as I gathered him back up into my arms.

  “Glad your Uncle Creed can amuse you,” I said and then I spun around because I sensed that someone was standing behind me.

  Someone was.

  “Truly leave?” asked Mia. She was fully dressed although I hadn’t heard her up and about.

  “Just for a little while,” I answered. “She’ll be back soon.” I took a step in her direction and started to hand baby Jacob over but Mia recoiled.

  “I can’t right now,” she said, going so far as to back away. “If you don’t mind watching him I’ve got something I’ve got to take care of.”

  “I don’t mind,” I said. Jacob had turned his head at the sound of his mother’s voice but he wasn’t crying and holding his arms out to her. Instead he seemed content to grab onto my t-shirt and watch her from a distance.

  I stared at her hard. “Are you leaving?”

  Mia stared back. “Just for a few hours.”

  A long moment of silence passed as I thought about whether I should keep asking questions. “And after that?”

  She averted her eyes. She knew what I meant. But she just sighed and pulled the frayed strap of an old knapsack over her shoulder. “Please tell Truly I’ll be back by evening.”

  “You want me to drive you anywhere?”

  “No.”

  “You need money for bus fare or anything?”

  “No.” She headed for the door, keeping her head down, either because she didn’t want to face my questions or she didn’t want to be reminded that I had her kid in my arms. “Thanks for offering though,” she said as she hurried through the door without looking back.

  There was still over an hour left before I could
expect Truly to return. I set a baby blanket out on the living floor and carefully placed Jacob on his tummy. He seemed to especially love a squeaky play hammer that Truly had picked up for him. When I cupped my hand around his little fist and showed him how to make noise by banging it against the floor he squealed with delight.

  I didn’t know much about babies, but this one seemed easy to please. He was curious and cheerful and every time he smiled in my direction I knew I smiled right back. After about half an hour of keeping him occupied with baby toys he started fussing.

  “What’s the problem, little man?” I picked him up, checked his diaper, patted his back. He burrowed into my neck and made snorting noises. Figuring he might be hungry, I headed to the fridge to find one of the bottles that Truly had made up for him.

  As soon as Jacob got a glimpse of the bottle he grabbed at it excitedly. I paused in front of the open fridge, watching the kid sucking away happily on the bottle I held to his mouth. I tried to remember something Truly had said about using some object called a bottle warmer. But a quick scan of the kitchen revealed nothing that looked like it was designed to warm bottles so I shrugged and gave up. Anyway, Jacob seemed happy enough with his prize so it must be okay.

  Back in the living room, I settled on the couch with the baby on my lap. Jacob’s dark eyes studied me as he clutched his bottle. He had Mia’s nose and mouth but his eyes and curly black hair must have come from the father he would never know. Mia had said very little about the man who’d fathered her child. Apparently they’d been together for over a year and his death had been a brutal shock.

  “Rotten deal, kid,” I muttered, more to myself than to Jacob. “Rotten deal.”

  I gathered the baby more closely to my chest, feeling protective of this helpless little person. Sometimes I doubted whether I had all the right stuff to be a good father. Maybe I would be too stern, not loving enough. Kids needed to know they were loved. They needed the balance of tender playfulness and strength. Fatherhood had come naturally to Cordero and I was sure that if Chase ever had a child he’d be an outstanding dad. But sometimes in my dark moments I wasn’t sure if the same could be said about me. It wasn’t something I talked about, not even to Truly.

  Jacob finished the contents of the bottle and immediately his eyelids began fluttering. Before I even set the empty bottle on the coffee table he was asleep. I thought there was a good chance he wouldn’t stay that way if I tried to move him and anyway I kind of enjoyed the heavy feeling of his sleeping body in my arms. I ran my finger lightly across his dimpled hand and figured maybe I could adapt to this dad stuff more easily than I thought.

  Spying the remote on the end of the couch I flicked the television on although I kept it on mute, ending up with one of those house hunting shows where some irritating couple bickers over countertops. I was glad I couldn’t hear them.

  When Truly softly opened the front door, Jacob was still lights out, snoring faintly. I saw the look of surprise cross her face as she took in the scene of the two of us snuggled up together. Then she broke into an enchanted smile.

  I put my finger to my lips.

  Truly set her purse down and shut the door. “Mia?” she mouthed.

  I shook my head.

  Jacob might have received some subconscious message that we were discussing his mother because he jerked, opened his eyes and then let out a wail.

  “Hey now,” I soothed, moving him to my shoulder, a move he thanked me for by opening his mouth and unloading a few ounces of curdled baby formula.

  “Stay right there,” fussed Truly, running to the kitchen for some paper towels.

  The baby was in a full state of unhappiness. He cried and unleashed more liquid from his mouth while I tried to avoid getting the brunt of the spray.

  Truly held out her arms to take Jacob and I handed him right over.

  “Oh honey,” she cried, not even caring that her shoulder was getting covered with baby vomit. “Shush, sweetheart. Auntie Tru is here.”

  While I mopped up the vomit that had landed on my shirt and started seeing to the mess on the couch, Truly patted the baby’s back and he let out a colossal belch.

  “Did you feed him?” Truly asked me.

  I balled the wet paper towels together. “Yeah, I fed him,” I said, pointing to the empty bottle that was still sitting on the coffee table. “He sucked back that whole damn thing and then passed out.”

  “And you burped him?”

  Fuck.

  “Uh, no.”

  It had been on her list of very pointed instructions but I hadn’t remembered.

  “It’s all right,” whispered Truly and I wasn’t sure if she was talking to me or to the baby.

  As I got up to toss all the dirty paper towels in the garbage, I felt a yawn coming on. It seemed I’d been awake for two days instead of less than four hours.

  “Aren’t you supposed to meet Cord?” called Truly.

  I found her already in full control of the situation, getting Jacob all cleaned up and changed. I glanced at my watch.

  “I can stay if you need me.”

  She pushed her hair out of her face and smiled up at me. “Go. We’re fine.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes.”

  I wasn’t too broken up about getting outside where there wasn’t any puke or shit that was calling my name. I gave my wife a kiss, tickled Jacob under his chin and ran out of there.

  As I navigated the streets of Tempe I wondered how the hell my truck had come to smell like vomit and baby powder. Jacob hadn’t even been in here. I shook my head and figured my senses were just working in overdrive. I wondered what Cord would think of the whole thing. I turned into the parking lot of Scratch and cut the engine, figuring I would find out in just a few minutes.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  CHASE

  Camp was only a half-day today but I’d completely forgotten until Bastian came around and told me to wrap up the mixed media project the kids were working on.

  “Let’s pack it in,” I announced to the busy room. “You know the drill. Materials stored in the cabinet and please leave the place how you found it. We’ll pick it back up on Monday.”

  “No we won’t,” called a voice from the back.

  I closed the lid on some red paint. “You got better plans, Arun?”

  “Course I do, Mr. Gentry. Gonna go watch fireworks at Tempe Town Lake and eat six pounds of red meat.”

  “Ah, Fourth of July. I forgot.”

  Indeed I had also forgotten the reason for the camp’s half day. It was the kickoff to a three-day weekend honoring the unique American holiday famous for noise, flashing lights and artery-choking junk food.

  The kids were full of restless energy, eager to spill out into the searing Phoenix heat and start the weekend. I didn’t scold them when they threw their materials haphazardly into the cabinet and floated out of there. I had plenty of time to rearrange it all.

  Bastian poked his head inside the room as I was organizing the shelves.

  “You heading out soon, Chase?”

  I didn’t turn around. “Few minutes.”

  “Something wrong?”

  I forced myself to smile and waved him away. “Nah, everything’s great. You have a good weekend.”

  Bastian nodded. “You too, man. We’ll be back on Tuesday. We’ll meet here as usual and then head over to the Science Center.”

  “Sounds good.”

  Once Bastian had retreated I returned to my cabinet organization project. The long afternoon loomed ahead but I couldn’t think of a damn thing worth doing. Steph had told me this morning that she expected she’d be stuck at work well into the evening. Some kind of quarterly budget crap. We’d said our stiff goodbyes and then went our separate ways for the day. I knew by the time she got home tonight she’d be too weary to talk, which might not be a bad thing because it seemed every serious discussion as of late had a way of going south. It didn’t take much mind scrolling to recall the moment everything changed
.

  “You’re pregnant?”

  “Yes.”

  “You sure?”

  “Jesus, Chase. Yes, I’m sure.”

  “Well okay then, we’ll get married.”

  It was not at all how I pictured things would go when I proposed to Stephanie. Actually I’d never come up with a solid plan for how the grand event would happen but it should have been a damn bit better than blurting out my intentions on the futon with my spent dick hanging out of my pants.

  Stephanie had looked at me for a long moment before absently nodding and then climbed out of my lap to go find her shirt. Then she ran into the bathroom and threw up.

  I closed the supply cabinet and brushed my hand over the smooth metal surface. Once upon a time I’d been brimming with insincere charm. I’d known how to say the right words to get into any pair of panties I wanted. But I was a long way from the guy who would pluck a willing girl out of a college party and nudge her mouth toward my dick without giving a damn about who she was.

  Goddamn, I was an asshole.

  Those days ended the minute I got my hands on Stephanie. She was the only girl for me. So why the hell was it so tough for us to step into the pages of our happily ever after?

  Maybe she doesn’t want to.

  A gruesome thought. A terrifying thought. The kind of thought that made me remember that there was shit a guy could swallow if he wanted to numb a rush of mental anguish. It had been years since I’d been tempted by the drugs that ran my life for a while. I wasn’t even tempted now. Even the idea made me queasy. Back when I was still thick in the struggle between compulsion and conscience, a rehab counselor had told me I had an addictive personality, that my inner battles would always be waged more intensely. So far I’d won. I planned to keep winning.

  Somewhere in a distant corridor of the library a child laughed. I took a deep breath to banish the sense of gloom and doom that threatened to erupt. Brooding in an empty room was the most depressing way I could think of to spend my time so I locked up the cabinets and hustled out of there.

  The library was fairly crowded for a Friday afternoon, but that might be because it was a relaxing place to suck up free air conditioning in the middle of the stifling city. As I rounded a corner I caught a glimpse of the homeless fellow I’d seen out front several times. He sat quietly on a corner bench and paged carefully through a large book with glossy photographs of outer space.