In This Life Read online

  “No.” I set them down on a nearby half empty shelf. “Emma’s a challenge when it comes to food. Sometimes this is the only thing she’ll agree to eat and I ran out this morning. Wait a minute.” I thought of something. “How’d you get in? I forgot to give you the key.”

  He shrugged. “I found another one.”

  “Where?”

  “My father’s safe.”

  “How’d you get into the safe?”

  “He left the combination with Steve Brown as part of his will instructions.”

  “You saw Steve Brown again?”

  “How many questions are you going to ask me this morning, Kat?”

  “I don’t know. How many are you willing to answer?”

  Nash moved away from the counter and took a step in my direction. He was looking at me again. He was looking at me in a way that made me forget things like decency and common sense and the fact that I was a single mom who shouldn’t take chances. The truth was I was ready to rub one out on his hand if he extended it.

  “You look beautiful today,” he said in the husky tone that told me more than his words did.

  I smoothed down my knee-length swing skirt. “I’ve had this outfit for years.”

  “It’s nice.”

  “Nash.” I swallowed. “I thought we agreed this wouldn’t happen again.”

  “You don’t like compliments, Kat?”

  He was three feet away, surveying me with intense interest. He knew what was on my mind. He knew I wanted him and he was going to make me admit it.

  “I like them,” I whispered.

  Nash was pleased. “What else do you like?”

  “I think you’ve figured out one or two things.”

  He agreed. “Or more.”

  My mouth twitched. “You know, I came here for a meeting.”

  “What a coincidence. So did I.”

  I took a calming breath. I had to remember my reasons for concluding I shouldn’t have screwed Nash Ryan. “I guess we need to lay some ground rules.”

  Reason 1: I don’t have the time or inclination to be involved with anyone right now.

  “I guess we do,” Nash said.

  “We didn’t really talk about it the other morning.”

  Nash crept even closer. His preppy polo shirt was at odds with the ink running riot all over his strong arms, which he crossed over his broad chest as he observed me. “Let’s talk about it now.”

  Reason 2: We’re friends. I think.

  I forced my face to look serious. “Okay, Nash. You like honesty so I’ll give it to you. I’d do anything for Colin and I really do care about you too. But right now I don’t have room in my life for a relationship.”

  He grinned. “I didn’t ask you for one, Kat.”

  Reason 3: This could end badly and impact Colin. And Emma. And me.

  “Fair enough,” I sighed. “I really value your friendship and the other night was incredible. But my priority is Emma.”

  “And my priority is Colin.”

  “So we’re on the same page.”

  He closed in. “Yes we are.”

  “Then there’s nothing else to say.”

  Nash was inches away. He touched the top button on my blouse, pushed his fingertip into the buttonhole crease. “No, there’s nothing else to say.”

  My breathing hitched. He had to have heard it. “What are we going to do, Nash?”

  He captured the button, twisting until it popped off. “Whatever you want, Kat.”

  Reason 4: None of the above reasons mean shit.

  “You know what I want,” I admitted and flattened my hand against his chest, reveling in the hard feel of the muscles beneath the fabric. “No hassles, no complications.”

  He unfastened another button from my blouse, this time without tearing it off. “I can give that to you. I’m not a fan of hassles or complications.”

  My hand traveled lower, settling on his belt. “This is just about two people who know how to make each other feel good. I think we both need that right now.”

  Nash moved my hand down so I could feel how hard he was. “I think you’re right,” he whispered.

  “There’s nothing wrong with it.”

  “Nothing at all.”

  I kept my hand where it was while he made short work of the rest of my buttons. Then I paused and shrugged out of the blouse. Nash checked me out and gave a low whistle.

  “Have I mentioned yet that you’re totally fucking gorgeous?” Then he smiled in the manner that threatened to melt my heart if I had any intention of allowing my heart to be melted.

  I tugged on his belt, relishing the way he looked at me, enjoying how bold I suddenly felt.

  “I want to see you too,” I said. Then I gasped and turned around. “Wait, is the door unlocked?”

  He had his hands on me, unhooking my bra and nudging me in the direction of the counter until I bumped into it.

  “Probably,” he growled and now he was at my back, pushing my skirt up and my panties down. My breasts spilled from my open bra and briefly found their way into Nash’s hands before they were flattened against the counter when he bent me over. My legs were jelly, threatening to collapse underneath me as Nash pulled his pants down and teased my ass with his cock. This was ridiculous, downright perverted. I was about to get nailed across the counter at a goddamn souvenir shop in broad daylight and I couldn’t think of anything that would feel more fucking fantastic.

  I bucked against him and he said, “Fuck,” and pushed my hair aside, sucking at my neck while his hands worked to roll a condom on. Meanwhile I throbbed so hard a faint breeze across my clit would probably send me into oblivion. I needed to come so badly I was about to reach down and deal with the problem myself.

  But that wasn’t necessary. Nash nudged my legs father apart, found the right angle and drove himself in deep. He was instinctive the way he knew when to slow down and when to pound without apology. He was teaching me that not all orgasms were created equal. The powerful spasms I experienced with him had little in common with the sweet waves of pleasure I’d known before. No wonder why I had no willpower where Nash was concerned.

  The pace of his thrusts became faster, frenetic, our bodies pulsing together in sin and sweat. I felt him come with a groan and a shudder and a smile of victory spread across my face. It was still there when we separated and started gathering our clothes.

  “You look amused,” he remarked, sliding his boxers on first.

  I hooked my bra. “I like having the power to send the great Nash Ryan over the edge.”

  He eyed me. “I didn’t know I was great.”

  “My vagina thinks so.”

  He laughed. “You crack me up, Kat.”

  “Why?”

  Nash pulled his shirt over his head. “You’re all things at once. Prim and dirty and careful and careless.”

  That summed me up better than he knew. “Just trying to keep you guessing, Nash.”

  “I’m not complaining. It’s a hot combination.”

  I pulled on my skirt and watched him zip his fly. He caught me looking and his expression changed. “You sure all this is okay with you? Seriously, I appreciate everything you’ve done. I like you and I’d hate to think I’m messing you up in any way.”

  I picked up my blouse. The top button was gone, plucked away by Nash’s fingers and tossed somewhere unseen. But I buttoned the rest and tucked the shirt into my skirt.

  “I’m pretty sure the only thing that’s been messed up so far is my hair.” I made a show of smoothing my unruly curls into place.

  Nash finished getting his clothes in order and leaned against the counter in exactly the same position he’d been in when I got here. “You still want to have this meeting?”

  “Of course.” I picked up the bag that doubled as a purse and laptop carrier and opened the computer on the counter beside him. “Let’s take a look at the inventory reports and go from there.”

  The reopening of the store went much better than I tho
ught. Half the town showed up and everyone who set foot in the place bought something, even if it was just a pack of gum. Kat was right about the support from the locals.

  I stuck around for the whole day, shaking hands and greeting people who’d come down with their families to let me know they were glad this place was back in business. Even people I’d gone to high school with showed up, including a few former flames who’d cursed me back in the day for one reason or another. But all of them had known my dad and if their memories of me were less than wonderful they weren’t holding grudges anymore. Normally I wasn’t the social butterfly sort but it felt good to be a part of this, part of something positive.

  A few people anxiously asked, “How’s the baby? How’s Colin?” and I assured them the baby was fine, that he wasn’t here because after a recent illness I didn’t think it was smart to expose him to a lot of people. They’d nodded approvingly at the answer and I felt like I’d done the right thing.

  All the time my eyes kept searching newcomers for Kathleen. She’d already mentioned she’d be running around to meetings and whatever all day but I looked for her just the same.

  Even though it would have been an inconvenient time to pop a boner the way I did whenever she walked in the room.

  I’d really intended our first hot night to be a one time thing, a lapse of judgment instigated by the emotional roller coaster I’d been riding lately. But working out my inner demons with the help of Kat’s sexy body brought me a sense of calm. I just hoped she was telling the truth when she said she wasn’t looking for more than a friend with benefits. With all the obligations I was juggling that was all I could offer her.

  Kathleen never did drop by but Kevin Reston made an appearance. Since I’d arrived back to town he was always friendly enough, maybe for Jane’s sake, maybe for my father’s, but I got the impression he didn’t know what to make of me. I understood. After some district cutbacks, he used to volunteer to help coach the Hawk Valley High football team and once he broke up a brawl between me and Travis Hanson, the school quarterback. Kevin earned a black eye and a busted nose for his efforts.

  “You just missed Jane,” I told him. “She was here a little while ago.”

  He nodded. “I know. We met for coffee down the street.”

  “Did she order you to stop by?”

  He grinned. “Yeah.”

  “Well, I’m glad you did.”

  Kevin cleared his throat. “You know, I was also thinking we could go out and grab a beer tonight. Your dad and I used to meet up at Sheen’s the first Friday of every month.”

  I didn’t drink much these days. But I knew Kevin had been my dad’s friend for many years and felt his loss acutely. Plus I was sure this invitation had been extended to make Jane happy and anyone who tried this hard to make my gentle aunt happy deserved to be met halfway.

  “I’d have to find a sitter for Colin,” I said. “He’s with your mom today.”

  Kevin waved a hand. “And you know she would love to watch him for a few hours longer. There’s nothing my mom would rather be doing than taking care of babies.”

  It was true that Nancy Reston had insisted over and over that anytime I needed a sitter I should keep her at the top of the list. Accepting favors from kind people was still a new concept to me.

  “All right,” I said. “I’ll give her a call and if she’s cool with watching him you got yourself a beer buddy.”

  Kevin flashed a grin. “Meet you at Sheen’s around eight.”

  “You got it.” I swiped a Hawk Valley Happiness mug off a nearby shelf. “And have one of these on the house.”

  Kevin accepted the ceramic cup. “Thanks. Can never have too many.”

  Nancy Reston actually sounded delighted when I called to ask if she could keep Colin until around nine p.m. She told me to take as much time as I wanted. I ended the call feeling a little guilty. Imposing on Nancy and Kathleen and whoever else offered to help wasn’t a permanent solution. I’d have to make a regular daycare schedule if I was going to manage the store the way my father had. It was also going to be impossible to juggle two careers plus child rearing. I’d already put the word out to my clients that I was no longer accepting new work.

  “You need to put in more hours at the store. Someday the place will be yours, Nash.”

  “Oh fuck that. I’d rather cut off my right hand than hang around here and be a washed up Hawk Valley lifer.”

  Memories are funny things. They can hibernate deep for a decade and then hit you like a punch in the gut, a long forgotten nugget that flashes through your mind out of nowhere and leaves you wondering if it was real.

  “Excuse me,” said a voice. It belonged to a small silver-haired woman who was covered in some silky shawl thing that looked expensive. “Who can help me with buying that painting over there?”

  She pointed to a sunrise watercolor of the Hawk Mountains. One of Jane’s paintings.

  “I can help you,” I said.

  The store closed at seven but I stuck around to thank the employees and take care of a few tasks. Finally at a quarter to eight I locked the doors and headed down the street to Sheen’s.

  It was the same dim, hole-in-the-wall bar I remembered walking past a thousand times when I was a kid. Because this was Friday night it was pretty crowded with a bunch of people watching the baseball game on the screen above the bartender’s head. Others played a game of darts. The game seemed like a bad idea given the human density in the place.

  Kevin hailed me from a table. He was sharing it with another person.

  Son of a bitch.

  Travis Hanson, former high school quarterback and all around cocky asshole hadn’t crossed my mind in years and yet today he was occupying all kinds of space in my head.

  He was also occupying the seat beside Kevin.

  I pasted a smile to my face and took the remaining chair. Back in the day Travis had been a prick who liked to hurt people smaller than he was but maybe he’d changed. That happened sometimes.

  “Nash,” he said, fist bumping me like we were BFF’s instead of former archenemies.

  “Hey, Travis. How’s it going?”

  There was a despicable smugness in his grin. He spread his arms. “I own this place now.”

  “No kidding.”

  “Yep. My dad fronted me the cash last year when old man Sheen retired and moved down to Tucson. I harassed him into giving me a hell of a deal too.” Travis snapped his meaty fingers and a cute brunette in a short denim skirt came scurrying over.

  “Hey, sweetness, you remember Nash Ryan, right?” he said as his hand rested on the girl’s ass.

  ‘Sweetness’ didn’t seem bothered by the attention. She nodded. “I remember you, Nash. You were a senior when I was a freshman.”

  “Right,” I said. I couldn’t recall having laid eyes on this girl in my life.

  Travis snorted. “As if he was keeping track back then. Nash never cared if they were too young or too old. The boy got around, that’s for damn sure.”

  The comment was in unbelievably poor taste. It was more than a dig at me. It was a veiled reference to old rumors. I’d never confirmed anything but that didn’t matter in a small town. Kevin shot me an apologetic look.

  “I’m so sorry about what happened to your family,” the waitress said. “My mom knew Heather so she was at the funeral. She was still crying when she got home, said that earth had lost an angel when Heather was taken.”

  Taken. That made the situation sound slightly hopeful, as though the possibility existed for Heather to return. But there was no way Heather would return. She’d died on a mountain with the man who loved her. For a long time I’d been furious with both of them. But it was possible now to remember things I hadn’t thought about in a long time, like how Heather used to pay off delinquent lunch accounts for kids during her brief career working in the front office of the high school. And the time she bought flowers for a classmate who was distraught after the girl’s dog was hit by a car.

 
“Thanks,” I said. “She’s missed.”

  The waitress offered a gentle smile. “So what can I get for you?”

  “Anything you’ve got on tap would be great.” I didn’t plan on taking more than a couple of sips anyway. I was tired, I wanted to pick up Colin and the bar scene was never my hangout of choice.

  Travis openly leered at the waitress’s backside as she walked away “That’s mine,” he said proudly as if he was talking about a car.

  “Good for you,” I said with sarcasm.

  He smirked. “And let me tell you, there’s one tight pussy in there to go with that sweet ass.”

  I didn’t want to hear about it. I caught Kevin’s eye. He looked uncomfortable.

  Travis wasn’t done talking though. “Likes to mouth off on occasion though so I’ve got to keep her in line.” He belched.

  My dislike for the guy instantly swerved from mild to severe.

  “Careful someone doesn’t decide to keep you in line,” I said slowly.

  Travis peered at me, the layers inside his thick skull evidently trying to decide whether or not I was kidding.

  “That wouldn’t go well,” he said. “Thought you learned that lesson once already, Ryan.”

  My hand curled into a fist beneath the table. “From what I remember you bled pretty hard that day, Hanson.”

  Kevin coughed. “Pretty sure I bled harder than either of you,” he said good-naturedly. “My nose has been crooked ever since.”

  “Sorry about that,” I said, keeping my eyes on Travis, who stared back with the flat look of a man who had a few screws loose.

  “It’s okay,” Kevin said. “My lady says it makes me looks rakish.”

  The waitress returned and set my beer down on the table.

  “Thanks, sweetness,” Travis said, giving her another obnoxious feel.

  I was tired of this guy, tired of being here. If I stuck around too long I’d get into trouble. Luckily the bartender showed up and quietly said something to Travis about the whiskey supply.

  Travis frowned. “Everyone’s fucking helpless,” he grumbled, rising from his chair. “Gotta go deal with this.”