Game (Gentry Boys #3) Page 6

  Somehow I had to get my shit together. I’d made it so far by relying on myself and keeping up in a man’s world. I needed to find my way back to the place that had no room for sprawling moodily on a battered couch in the middle of the morning and sorting through the past.

  “Fuck it,” I said out loud, just because it made me feel a little better, a little tougher.

  Dolly stared at me from six feet away. She crept a few feet closer and nudged my hand. I scratched behind her ears and then pulled her into my lap. Usually she only allowed Truly to pick her up but that cat might possess some extra sensory abilities because she seemed to sense when I was feeling crappy and became affectionate.

  I could do this. I could shut everything away and refuse to feel. I wanted to close the door on distractions.

  And yet…

  Whenever I tried, thoughts of Chase Gentry kept interfering.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Chase

  When an addict kicks a habit it is common to dream about giving in again, of lapsing into the clutches of those same demons you’ve struggled mightily to break free of. So it never surprises me when I wake up with the sick surety that I’m back where I started. When I open my eyes and feel the cold sweat on my skin, for a moment I’m positive that every hard fought day over the past month has been in vain.

  This time I dreamed of a secret Vicodin stash, overlooked by Cord when he cleaned out my room last month. I swallowed them eagerly, consoling myself that it was only for the lingering pain, months after my surgery. Even my subconscious was dishonest. The only true pain was in my head.

  After my dream self was done swallowing, I began to look for something else. I was getting numb, a nice feeling, but I was also fading from the downer effect. I just wanted to feel good. I frantically hunted under my mattress and through the drawers of my dresser. My own heartbeat was horribly loud and I was becoming desperate. I needed to get out of my room, out of the building, out of the state, before I sank into oblivion. The appearance of a badly scratched glass-topped table didn’t surprise me. After all it was familiar, having occupied a corner of the tiny living room in my childhood home. A large pile of multi-colored pills littered the surface. I didn’t know what they were but I knew I needed to swallow a bunch of them to feel better.

  I grabbed a handful, intending to shove them all down my throat and say fuck you to the consequences. But I had inadvertently cleared off a section of the table. When I blinked I saw through the glass. There was something underneath the table. I didn’t want to see what it was, however I didn’t have that option. I was suddenly back in Emblem, back in the place I wanted to leave behind and somehow couldn’t. Sunlight poured through a dirty window and allowed me to see what was beneath the table. It was a body. I looked into the dead open eyes of my mother and everything went dark.

  The instant I opened my eyes I knew it had been a dream. I wasn’t in Emblem. I wasn’t even in the apartment I shared with my brothers and Saylor. I was alone in a hotel room in Las Vegas.

  The heavy drapes had been closed the night before so even though the bedside clock said it was after eight in the morning the room was dark as midnight. I was lying atop the bedcovers, naked and sweaty, although this time it wasn’t for any good reason. I tried to rub the images of my dream out of my eyes but the sick feeling surging through me was tougher to dispel. Cord had suffered from vivid, awful nightmares since we were kids. It was only in the last few months, since he’d found Saylor, that the sounds of him cursing or crying in his sleep had vanished. My nightmares were new.

  Even as the immediate effects of the dream faded I was still left with a crushing sense of guilt. It wasn’t real. It was remorse over having slipped and fallen, of returning to the pills, even though I hadn’t done anything of the kind. The memory of my mother’s body made me wince and I shut my eyes again. She wasn’t dead, not yet, although the last time I saw her she was little more than an animated corpse. And I had left her there. I had left her there with him. The boys always insisted that there was nothing else we could do for Maggie Gentry. They were almost certainly right.

  I took a series of deep breaths and directed my mind to go anywhere but Emblem. Stephanie was the first thing to pop up and I was suddenly hard. Now that hadn’t been a dream, that crazy coupling in her hotel room. Steph was different than I thought she’d be. I’d had her figured for a wild one between the sheets, venting all that frustrated bitchiness with rough play, and I couldn’t fucking wait to get her pinned down and at my mercy. But when I got there I realized she was a lot more hesitant, and a lot less experienced, than I’d assumed. Stephanie Bransky, for all her tough talk and harsh manners, was actually shy. Impossibly, her reluctance turned me on even more, made me want to ruin her time after time. Stephanie was a beautiful girl who tried to avoid being beautiful. I wondered if I’d screwed things up by having at her so quickly.

  I wanted to see her again, not just because I was hard as iron and wanted to do something about it, but because I didn’t like how we’d left off last night. My hand went around my dick and started idly stroking as I relived the insane bliss of sinking into her tight center. She was unreal; an innocent temptress who looked like she’d stepped right out of a nineteenth century painting. It was my fantasy combination, what I’d been looking for ever since I knew what knew what to do with a woman. And fuck, she’d been so wet, so ready.

  I shifted positions, kneeling on the bed and increasing my rhythm, remembering when Stephanie had moaned the one word I’d badly wanted to hear from her.

  “Please.”

  “Yeah, that’s right,” I growled in the empty room as I pictured ripping that damn shirt off her and plowing inside while she begged for more. “You wanted it bad. You’ve been thinking about it. Honey, you don’t know how much I loved making you come.” I said her name as I came hard and fast into my hand, gasping for breath. Yeah, I needed to have her again.

  After absently wiping my own semen on my thigh I jumped straight into the shower. I turned the water as hot as it would go and stayed beneath the steam for a long time. By the time I got out I had resolved to go knock on her door. Maybe we could go to breakfast, hang out on the plane together later. I’d let her know I was up for something other than fucking around, although I still planned to get to that again soon. I grinned as I dressed.

  Two minutes later I was knocking on her door. I watched the peephole, waiting for the shadow to cross as she looked out. If she ignored me this time then I would just start talking to her from out here. One way or another, she was opening that goddamn door.

  I knocked again and waited. She didn’t come to the door and there was no noise inside. I didn’t have her phone number or I would have tried that next.

  When five minutes had passed I began to feel like an ass hanging out in the hallway and staring at a closed door. My own phone buzzed in my pocket and I rolled my eyes when I saw it was Creed. That boy didn’t believe in texting.

  “What’d I do now?” I sighed, preparing to be yelled at for something.

  “Truly’s making me call you to invite you to breakfast.”

  “That’s a heartfelt offer.”

  My brother snorted. “I’ve been having breakfast with you for nearly twenty three years. But I wouldn’t mind if you came along. We’re downstairs at the buffet.”

  “Your generosity always astonishes me.”

  Creed was bored with the conversation. “You comin’ or not?”

  “Yeah.” I glanced around. “Hey, do you know if Truly invited Stephanie?”

  “No fucking idea.”

  Really, I could throttle the beast sometimes. “Can you ask her, asshole?”

  He grunted with distaste but I heard him relay the question to Truly.

  “She’s gone,” he said when he got back on the line. “She hopped on an earlier flight.”

  I was surprised. “She did? What for?”

  “Hell, I don’t know, junior. Maybe there’s some grumpy chick convention back in Ph
oenix.”

  “Oh.” I felt defeated. Then I felt stupid for feeling defeated.

  Creed sighed. “Just get down here. Truly won’t let me sit down until you join us and I’ll be pissed if they run out of sausage while I’m waiting on your ass.”

  I grinned. “Stuffing your face full of sausage? Sounds downright phallic.”

  “What the hell are you talking about now?”

  “Nothing. I’ll be down in ninety seconds. Time me.”

  Truly Lee was looking as fresh and beautiful as ever as she stood next to my brother and waited for me to show up. I didn’t miss the glance of pure adoration she gave him, nor did I miss the way he returned the look.

  “You sure as hell won the lottery here, brother,” I told him, swinging an arm around his girlfriend.

  “I know,” he frowned, pulling her firmly back to his side.

  Breakfast was pleasant enough. I carefully avoided mentioning anything about Stephanie, figuring Creedence would only gripe. Or even more alarming, he might see through me and figure out what I’d been up to last night when I disappeared from the reception.

  After breakfast there wasn’t much left to do but check out and head to the airport. I wished I’d driven, like I originally planned. I disliked being caged in a cylinder as it hurtled through the sky. Plus, being with Creed and Truly was making me feel like the dateless tag-along dude. I wasn’t excited about sitting on the plane with them and listening to Creed trying to sneak a hand job. He was worse than I was sometimes, although I sure never heard Truly complaining.

  There were even slot machines in the actual airport. I’d avoided the casinos these past few days, in part because I recognized my own restlessness. I knew how easy it would be for me to blow through what little money I had. But now we were leaving so I figured it couldn’t hurt to shove some quarters in. It scared the crap out of me when lights started flashing and quarters began pouring out of the machine.

  People stared as I collected the mountain of coins in several plastic cups. I went to the counter and received four hundred and sixty eight dollars in paper bills. Before I headed back to the gate where Creed and Truly were slobbering all over one another, I stopped at a gift shop to purchase a book that had caught my eye.

  Truly and Creed were waiting in line to board when I caught up with them. I shoved the book, a thin volume on the art of sports betting, in my back pocket and held the cash in front of my brother’s face.

  “Dinner’s on me tonight.”

  He stared. “Where’d you get that?”

  “Slots. You want pizza?”

  Creed rolled his eyes. “Why don’t you try going to the grocery store for once?”

  I shrugged. “I should. I’m out of Marshmallow Mates cereal. But I’m still getting pizza.”

  “Fine. Get pizza.” Creed had faced forward again when suddenly he swiveled around. He clamped a meaty hand on my shoulder. “You all right, Chasyn?”

  I shrugged. “Peachy keen, brother.” Really, I was a little bummed that I didn’t get a chance to make things right with Stephanie before leaving Vegas, but there would be other chances. We were still in the same psychology class twice a week and she was Truly’s roommate. Girl wouldn’t be able to avoid me if she tried.

  Creed didn’t seem satisfied with my answer but he let it go for now. Five minutes after the flight took off Creed fell asleep, Truly resting against his shoulder. I took the sports betting book out of my pocket and read avidly for the next forty minutes as the plane traveled between Vegas and Phoenix. It got my mind going in directions I hadn’t considered before.

  When we got back to the apartment I walked through the front door, struck by how different the place seemed. It still had the same crappy mismatched furniture, although Saylor had tried to liven things up with accent pieces here and there. No, it was something more immaterial than stuff. The three of us had moved in here about a year and a half ago, proud as kings. It was the nicest place we’d ever lived. In three days Saylor and Cordero would be returning here as a married couple anticipating the birth of their twins.

  “Cord talk to you about his plans for renting a house?” I asked Creed as he tossed his bag into his bedroom. He still limped slightly from the damage done to his knee when he’d been in the vicious fight last month. Truly had headed straight for the kitchen and was whipping up some grilled cheese sandwiches.

  “A little,” he shrugged. “Not surprising since his wife will be dropping a litter in the spring.”

  I was thrilled for Cordero. Honestly I was. I meant it when I told him there was nothing better he could have done than marry Saylor. But I couldn’t help but feel a little melancholy at the same time. This was the end of an era. The three of us had lived as a matched set for so long. I couldn’t fathom the idea of not seeing my brothers every day.

  Creed was saying something. “Mail came for you before you left. It’s on the table.”

  I picked up the mail in question. “Shit,” I muttered, opening it and letting out a low whistle. “That’s a hell of a number.”

  Creed looked over my shoulder. “Thought you were gonna call them and see about working out a payment plan?”

  The hospital bill from my unfortunate June stay was three pages long. I stared at the number at the end, wondering how in the hell anyone was supposed to be able to pay a thing like that. It looked like it belonged on the national debt marquee in Times Square. I folded up the paper and stuck it back in the envelope. I’d deal with it another time.

  Truly set several grilled cheese sandwiches on the table for us and Creedence gave her an appreciative smile. Truly Lee was really the whole fantastic package; gorgeous, smart, sexy, and possessed of a genuinely thoughtful nature. I wondered what the chances were of Stephanie Bransky fixing me a sandwich. More than likely she would throw a loaf of bread at my head and order me to go shit twice and die.

  It’s no good; I can’t talk myself out of wanting her.

  Creed smacked my hand when I tried to start eating before Truly sat down at the table. I made an obscene gesture but still waited because it was the polite thing to do.

  “So Chase,” Truly said brightly, “what are your plans for today?”

  I looked at the clock. “Working parking lot security tonight for a show at Gammage.” I poked Creedence. “You working too?”

  He shook his head. “Not there. I’ve got a quick set at a new place in Scottsdale. If it goes well it could turn into a regular gig.”

  “It’ll go well,” Truly said confidently. “Baby, every time you get up in front of a crowd you’re that much more amazing.”

  Creed stared at her for a second, then pulled her out of her chair. “Come here,” he said gruffly, hauling her into his lap. They sucked face for a little while and I chewed my sandwich. I watched them. Truly and Creed weren’t like Saylor and Cord, but they were still the real thing.

  Truly backed off when Creed started to get too frisky. She laughed as he nuzzled her neck and groaned.

  “Finish your sandwich,” she told him.

  I took my plate to the sink and called back to Creed. “Hey, I’m taking the Chevy for a few hours, okay?” All three of us used to share the rickety pickup, but a few weeks back Cord had found a deal on a used minivan, trading in Saylor’s crappy car. For now Creed and I were still using the old pickup.

  “Sure,” he shrugged. “Where are you off to?”

  I hesitated. “Meeting,” I said quietly. “There’s one at the library this afternoon.”

  “Good,” my brother nodded. “That’s good.”

  He meant well. I knew he was relieved that I was keeping up with the program. For a while I’d thought he might benefit from the Twelve Steps as well. Creed drank often and hard for years. This past summer it got bad, real bad. But in the two months since he’d gotten together with Truly he’d kept off the bottle all on his own. If the relapse nightmares ever tormented him the way they did me then he never let it show.

  I hung around a little while lon
ger, watching Creed and Truly together, comfortable and happy. I wondered about Stephanie. She and Truly were close but I’d be shocked if she admitted to her roommate that we’d had sex.

  While Creed and Truly were otherwise occupied, I noticed Truly’s phone sitting on the counter. I picked it up and was glad to see she didn’t have a password. After a quick glance through her list of contacts I found Stephanie’s number and memorized it.

  “What are you doing?” Truly asked curiously.

  “Sorry.” I replaced the phone where I found it. “I thought it was mine.”

  I left shortly afterwards, driving around for a little while. Truly and Steph’s apartment was only a few blocks away but just then I didn’t feel like knocking on the door and getting told to piss off.

  There were already about a dozen people waiting for the meeting to start. They were all ages and sizes. I chose a seat next to a guy I’d become friendly with.

  “Hey man,” said Al, slapping me on the shoulder good naturedly. “Haven’t seen you in a few days.”

  I grinned. “My time is in great demand.”

  “I’ll bet,” he laughed, gesturing to a thirtyish woman I’d seen at meetings a few times before. She was staring at me. I knew what the stare meant. I had no intention of doing a thing about it. When people got clean they started looking for other ways to fill their time. Hookups born out of rehab were as common as crabgrass. That didn’t mean I had to join the club. Besides, I had recently realized I was sick of it, sick of the long string of casual fucks.

  “How have you been?” I asked, changing the subject.

  Al sprawled in his seat, his fingers tapping his leg. He was thin, dark-skinned and always in motion. I liked him; he was all right.

  As Al started jawing about a set of nympho sisters he’d supposedly met at a Burger King, I laughed. I knew he was full of shit but that was okay.