Fall Page 19

  Jenny, Jenny. What have you done to me?

  CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

  JENNY

  What is love? Is it waking up beside a man who occupies most of your thoughts and realizing that you never want to wake up anywhere else? Some would argue that wasn’t enough, that years of emotional work is required to earn the word ‘love’. My sister had fallen quickly for Grayson though so the pessimists weren’t always right. All I knew was that I wanted to be with Deck. And when he opened his eyes and smiled at me, my heart was full in a way I’d never known.

  “Mornin’, baby,” he said and pulled the sheet back so he could stare at my naked body.

  I grabbed the sheet back and he laughed, kneeling beside me on the bed, his dark eyes twinkling. “What is it you think you’re hiding from me?”

  My face grew hot, especially when I saw his big, hard body was getting bigger and harder by the second. “Oh, I know you’ve seen everything there is to see,” I shot back, tucking the sheet under my chin. I gasped when he ripped it away.

  Deck looked me over real good, picked up my hips between his big hands and promptly flipped me over. “Yeah, but I haven’t done all there is to do.”

  His hands were on my back, and then exploring lower. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth as the wave of fresh arousal made thinking difficult. “Are you planning on exploring new territory now?”

  He gave me a soft smack on the ass. “Nope.”

  “Oh,” I frowned, swiveling around to look at him, this tattooed god with a relentlessly mocking smirk that said he already knew everything I was thinking.

  “Believe me, you’ll get more than you can handle,” he said mildly, and then ran a seductive finger over my right hip. Deck could touch me just about anywhere though I would feel it in every nerve of my body. He dropped his grin and gave me a serious look. “No more bullshit, baby. I could have fucked you ten times over already but that’s not what this is about. I really want to be with you, Jennetta.”

  I sat up and hugged him fiercely, my breasts getting crushed against his chest. “I want to be with you too, Declan.” I kissed his shoulders, his neck, darted my tongue over the wild art on his skin as he breathed hard and got his hands all wound up in my hair. He pulled my head back with a small amount of force so that I had no choice but to look at him. He was completely solemn. “You know, I won’t be holding back tonight, unless you tell me first that you want me to.”

  There was no time to answer him because he seized me for a long kiss. Then, just as suddenly, he released me, hopped off the bed and headed for the shower. I sensed that he didn’t want me to follow him so I didn’t. Ten minutes later he emerged, absently toweling off, and began pulling clothes out of his hastily packed duffel bag.

  “Jen, there’s some shit I’ve got to take care of today.”

  I took a sip of the bottled water I’d found in the tiny refrigerator. While Deck was in the shower I’d pulled on my panties and the t-shirt I’d borrowed from him yesterday after mine had been torn.

  “Jenny?” He had paused in the midst of pulling his jeans up and was looking at me with some concern. I must have grimaced over the brief memory of what had nearly happened yesterday at the hands of Benton Gentry. Benton was a man driven by wrath and I didn’t want to guess how far he would have gone if Deck hadn’t driven up when he did. But I also didn’t want to give Benton a sick kind of power by dwelling on what could have happened.

  “I’m fine,” I said, standing and approaching him for a hug.

  He wasn’t convinced. Deck sighed and gently rubbed my back. “You sure, honey?”

  “Yes. Where are you going?”

  He kissed the top of my head. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll be back before evening.” He gave me a brief squeeze and then went to the closet to open the safe. I saw him remove a wad of bills, most of which he carefully stowed in an inner pocket of his leather jacket. Surprisingly, the rest he handed over to me.

  “Is this a tip?”

  He rolled his eyes. “No, wiseass. Order some takeout, go shopping, whatever.” Then he thought of something. “Wait, are you supposed to be in class today?”

  “Probably.”

  “Aren’t you going?”

  “I doubt it.” Today I had an English Literature class and an Art History class. Both seemed like an absurd waste of time.

  Deck crossed his arms. “You shouldn’t start skipping school.”

  I crossed my arms too, mocking him. “You shouldn’t try and order me around.”

  He was amused. The corners of his mouth lifted in a smile, then he bent forward, pushing my hair aside and running his tongue along my neck. “Oh, I’ll be ordering you around all right,” he whispered in my ear. “So you better damn well get used to the idea of surrendering.”

  Surrender.

  The word had an unhappy meaning for me. After I fled Jericho Valley I’d sworn to myself that I would never be my mother. I would never submit so completely to any man that I no longer could tell the difference between wrong and right. She’d been so weak that she’d given her own daughters over to maniacs.

  But when Deck said it, the meaning wasn’t ugly. And in fact there was nothing I wanted more than feeling him on top of me, inside of me, overwhelming me in every way. I jumped up, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist.

  “Do it,” I teased, trying to ride him through our clothes. “I dare you, Declan.”

  “Fuck,” he swore and brought me back to the bed where he quickly stripped off my underwear and pushed his face between my legs.

  I squealed at the unexpected feel of his tongue and instinctively tried to rear away, causing Deck to laugh. “You’re the one who spat out a dare,” he reminded me and moved up, letting the full force of his weight pin me down as his lips reached my neck and sucked at the skin.

  “Yes, I did,” I groaned and reached for the front of his pants.

  Deck held me off though. He bent over and ran his tongue over me as I gasped and squirmed, loving the incredible feel of his mouth even as I made a halfhearted attempt to wiggle away until he withdrew.

  “Later,” he said with a wink and picked up his shirt from where he’d dropped it before. He meant it. Last night he’d been so tender with me, patient, but I’d known all the while he was holding back a tsunami of sexual demand. Now, as he pulled his old leather jacket across his broad shoulders and amusedly watched me struggle to cover my lower body, his meaning was quite clear. Whatever Deck had planned for me was going to be on his time and not a minute before.

  “Like I said, I’ll be back by dark.” His hand was on the door when he turned around once more. “In case I didn’t make it clear, I’m fucking nuts about you.”

  I would challenge any woman in the world to keep her wits about her when Deck Gentry uttered those words. I know I couldn’t. My heart pounded and I wanted to abandon my dignity and throw myself in his arms again, begging to be taken wherever he was going. Instead I blushed and stammered.

  “I’m crazy about you too, Declan.”

  He smiled. Shit, he should patent that damn thing. Deck could probably heal the earth and generate world peace with that smile.

  “Call me if you need me,” he said casually and then went out the door.

  I sat there stupidly for a few seconds, then scrabbled around in the pocket of my discarded jeans for my phone. He returned by the third ring, his face slightly anxious.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You said to call if I needed you.”

  “And you need me already?”

  “Yes,” I said cheerfully. “I need you very badly.”

  Deck ran a hand through his hair and shook his head slightly. “Baby, tonight I’ll give you everything you need until you can’t stand the fuck up.”

  “I’m not talking dirty, Deck. I need you to do a favor for me.”

  He thought about it. “I wouldn’t mind licking your pussy for a few more minutes if that’s what you had in mind.”

  “It isn’t.”
I threw him a set of keys. He was surprised but recovered in time to catch them smoothly. “Quent’s going to be unhappy when he finds out I left his car outside the front door of some lunatic down in Emblem.”

  Deck looked at the keys and nodded. “Tell Quent it’ll be taken care of. His car will be in front of your dorm by four pm, keys behind the rear driver’s side tire.”

  “Thank you, Deck.”

  “Hey, Jenny?”

  “Yeah?”

  Deck crossed the room in two long strides, pushed me to my back and shoved his tongue straight into me. This time it didn’t even occur to me to stop him.

  He didn’t keep at his work long though. He rose up on his elbows and flashed me his most deliciously teasing grin. “Soon,” he whispered, planting a light kiss between my breasts and then exiting the room swiftly.

  “Damn,” I sighed as a riotous battle waged between my legs. Since I was already halfway there I decided to finish myself off. Usually I got it done under cover of darkness, feeling a mild kind of shame despite the fact that I knew it was fine and natural. For crying out loud, Ally had a big old battery operated friend that she had affectionately named ‘Hank’ and I could always hear that thing buzzing away on the other side of the room. It took less than a minute of manipulating with my own hand before my senses exploded. My eyes were shut, my lower body convulsing and my lips moaned his name again and again.

  Afterwards, I allowed myself a few minutes of warm afterglow before I jumped up and hit the shower. As I luxuriated under the hot water I thought about the long hours ahead. Yesterday’s trauma was no excuse to hide here in Deck’s room all day. Hiding was a bad habit to get into. Once I started I might never stop. I yanked on my jeans and then pulled Deck’s shirt on over them, realizing I looked absurd. It couldn’t be helped though; the only other shirt I had was unfit thanks to Benton Gentry.

  “There’s some shit I’ve got to take care of today.”

  I hadn’t questioned Deck about that statement, hadn’t asked him if Benton was part of the ‘shit’. He never flinched when acknowledging the problem of Quent’s car, so he must have been planning to go down to Emblem already.

  Quentin Kelly might have extrasensory perception because he chose that very second to call me. I recognized the ring tone and answered a little guiltily. After all, “Sure, you can borrow my car for a few hours,” was not an open invitation to fall off the map indefinitely.

  “I’m sorry,” I said when I answered.

  “You should be,” he replied, sounding a little peeved. Quent didn’t get pissed off easily so I felt even worse. “I messaged you six times last night and was worried as shit. So I tracked down that little blonde chick who works at the chicken place and she admitted that you’d probably run after that biker dude.”

  “She was right.”

  Quent paused. “And?” he said in an exasperated tone.

  “And he rescued me from being attacked by his uncle, carried me off into the sunset and then pleasured me in ways I lack the skills to verbally express.”

  “Jenny!”

  “Oh, and your car will be parked in front of Sonora Hall by the close of the business day. Keys will be on the inside of the rear passenger tire. Or maybe it’s the front driver’s side tire. I forgot.”

  Quent laughed. “Is any of that true?”

  “All of it’s true. I don’t lie to you, Quentin.”

  “No, but you don’t always tell the truth, either. So where’s the hot desert lover now?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He sighed. “Of course.”

  “Quent, I really am sorry. I’m a shitty friend.”

  “Sometimes. But I love you anyway, Jen.” He paused. “You sure you know what you’re doing with this guy?”

  “No, I’m not sure what I’m doing at all but Deck very generously said he’d show me.”

  Quentin laughed and I was grateful that he wasn’t really angry, although he had every right to be. He tried for a few more minutes to nudge additional information from me and I wished I was the kind of person who could spill out her feelings freely, but the way I felt about Deck was still too new, still too jumbled in my mind and heart. Declan Gentry had me spellbound and I knew by now it was no fleeting crush. It wasn’t going away.

  The university was less than a mile from here, easy to walk to. I would stop at my room first and grab some changes of clothes. After that I would spend the afternoon gladly learning about the contributions of the Bronte sisters and then sitting through an examination of Vermeer and the Dutch Golden Age, all of which would presumably mold me into a better individual.

  “Cynicism, Jenny,” I grumbled to myself, because it was one of Quent’s favorite accusations about me, Tevin, and everyone else who didn’t greet life with chronic bemusement. I reluctantly left the room, feeling little desire to step back into the world. But I couldn’t cower beneath the bed sheet all day, waiting for Deck to return, no matter how appealing the concept was. Before I braced myself for the onslaught of the bright morning sunshine, I remembered Deck’s promise. “Soon,” he’d said and had also sworn quite bluntly that he wouldn’t be holding back anymore.

  I was ready.

  I was more than ready.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  DECK

  Chase was surprised to hear from me. I must have woken him up; he kept yawning and sounded as if he was speaking through a bed pillow.

  “Get your ass up,” I said into the phone as I leaned over his empty first floor apartment balcony. “It’s after ten.”

  “My ass doesn’t appreciate being ordered about so precipitously.”

  “What?”

  “Rude. You’re being rude, Declan.”

  “Look dickhead, just put your thesaurus away and get out here.”

  “Out where?”

  “Outside.”

  Another yawn. “What for?”

  “Because I’m standing out here waiting.”

  “You know, Steph said your little red-haired sidekick was searching for you yesterday.”

  “Yeah, she found me.”

  Chase suddenly became alert and cheerful. “I bet that was fun.”

  “More than I can politely tell you about.”

  “So are you guys like a thing now?”

  “Chase. Fuck, are you gonna let me in or not?”

  The next thing I knew Chase was standing on his apartment balcony in his underwear. A couple of college girls were walking by and they whistled. Chase grinned.

  “Stephanie must not be around,” I observed, hopping over the balcony.

  “She’s in class. Doesn’t matter though. Steph knows she hasn’t got a damn thing to worry about. You look like shit, Deck. You want a bowl of cereal?”

  I followed Chase indoors. “Can you put some clothes on first? Your dick keeps looking at me.”

  “You wish,” he sneered but retreated to the bedroom to throw on some sweats. There was a framed picture of Chase and Stephanie on a coffee table in the living room. It looked like it had been taken at Christmas. They were the very image of youthful bliss, beaming with their arms around each other.

  Chase reappeared and grabbed the picture away, gazing at it affectionately. “My beauty,” he said proudly, kissing the image of his girlfriend. He set the picture back carefully and went to the kitchen. Then in the sloppiest possible manner he poured two bowls of multicolored sugared cereal, one of which he offered to me. I sat down at the card table in the kitchen and started eating while Chase poured us coffee.

  “So,” he said, joining me with sudden, sharp seriousness, “what’s going on, Deck?”

  I didn’t bother bluffing him about anything. Chase was too smart for that and I’d already done him enough of a disservice by failing to let him know sooner what was going on with his mother. Hearing about all of it was painful and Chase wasn’t good at hiding his feelings. He stared down at his lap and outright cringed a few times, blinking rapidly and running a hand tiredly over his face. When I got
to the end of the story though he looked sharply at me and narrowed his blue eyes.

  “And she went running back to him.”

  “Yes.”

  Chase winced. “And she always will.”

  “Yes.”

  He sighed. Then he grew worried. “Is Jenny really okay?”

  “I think so. She says he grabbed her, scared the shit out of her, but that’s all. Benton’s busted the fuck up though.” I leaned back in the chair and laced my fingers behind my head. The knuckles still stung with bruised cuts. “Chasyn, when I went for him I swear I meant to murder him with my bare hands.”

  “I wish you would have.” Then he grimaced. “I don’t mean that. It would have just meant the end for you.”

  We sat there in silence for a few minutes, united in hatred for one of the world’s worst men and in sorrow for a woman who was long gone. Somewhere in the distance a siren bleated then became distant as it traveled to its own tragic destination.

  “You on your way back down there?” he asked me, referring to Emblem.

  “Yup. Last time. Last time for a long goddamn while.”

  “Okay,” he coughed. “I’m not going.”

  “Good.”

  He looked at me. “There’s no fucking point. I just want to live my life, love my girl, try and stay happy.”

  “Chase, you won’t hear any argument from me. That’s all I would want for you, all three of you.”

  He smiled a little ruefully. “I know, Deck. And the boys and I don’t talk about it – not to you, not even to each other – but we know. Every time you stepped in front of Benton when he went for us, every time you tried to shield us from his wrath or cursed in his face when he told us we were nothing, we knew. We remember. You’ll always be kind of our hero.”

  Chase was leaning across the table, looking at me earnestly. Just then he seemed like the toddler who’d reached for me in the darkness over twenty years ago, crying in a plea to be taken wherever I was going. My eyes suddenly burned even though I tended to cry about as often as I wore a pink tutu.